The peculiarity of Malaysians

I often ask myself,

"Is it me? It is just me?? Or is it them?"

What does that suppose to mean? Who is them? What am I talking about?

I have been around and lived outside the borders of my home country, Malaysia, and personally I do find Malaysians at home quite nice generally. But the degrees of truth in that seems to decline as I begin to meet more Malaysians who are in the same boat as me -- living abroad.

There was an international night event just last night and I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it with people from all over the world. It was truely a blessing to have got to know somebody (a lass) from Uzbekistan, which is a very rare opportunity. Just a quick and short description of her, she looks very Chinese sporting a well-defined black pairs of brows, not too high nor shallow nose bridge (like those of Northern Chinese and Japanese), and she's got eyes to die for... a pair of hazel brown eyes the shape of those of Iranians or Turkish, or Arabic women -- large and arched like a strong bow yet sexy. Sexiness of the eyes is a very pathetic way of describing such wonderful endowment and I regret to admit that I'm just poor at words.

Got carried away for a moment there, eh? Japanese, Chinese nationales were at large, Indians, Britishs, French, Bahrains, Spanishs, Greeks, Cyprus, Thais, Hollanders, and Americans were the peole I've met there. I was told there was a Malaysian guy in the crowd and I got interested so I sought out for the person. Later, I found out this Malaysian guy. Spoke to him introduced myself and immediately I can sense he wasn't really interested in getting to know me, who is from the same country as he is. Blaming me for over thoughts and being unreasonable, but I do know what's going on based on the number of people I've seen. I think there IS a problem between the Malaysians [Chinese] everywhere. It's hard to see what exactly it is.

Take a step back and look at other nationalities i.e. the Chinese, who have been very popular to stick among themselves as all of them have that instinct to look out for each other and get things done together. I can see their bondings for each other even when we're talking about meeting one as stranger. Another nationality, the Spanish people, they are very closely knitted not only in their language and culture, but also in friendship even if s/he is a stranger initially.

Well, the thing is everybody was once a stranger. The difference is that they all have the initiative to get to know and/or seek out their kind and really get to know each other. But among the Malaysians, I regret to discover these lackings or inadequacies. Is it the language that we speak? During Saskatoon days, I noticed an ongoing trend that only the Cantonese speaking Malaysians stick to themselves, the English speaking Malaysians in another group, and the Mandarin speaking Malaysians are usually found to be with the Cantonese tongues or vice-versa. Therefore, there is essentially 2-3 groups of Malaysians hanging out independently. Am I observing the very similar social illness over here in Leeds?

He wasn't very polite. I'm not saying that I was genuinely polite and stainless as silver wares but I have noticed the predisposition from the norm. We were in the middle of a conversation (getting to know him) and he said he'll be right back and he dashed out the exit door and never came back. Maybe his ride was here? Maybe he found me boring? Maybe he just don't want to talk to another Malaysian? Maybe... everything!!? I don't know.

If I were to get £1 for assuming that there is some kind of subtle problems in getting to know another fellow Malaysian is not false or that the oversea Malaysians are not very much interested in bonding with another country-mate (comrade?), I would be disproportionately rich by now. I have to base on my observed samples over the past years including the period I have been living here in Leeds to have arrived at such conclusion. Peculiar I find!

Where is the bond?
Where is the love?

I see another Malaysian I would love to get to know. I did not meet up with an alien from another planet, and even so, I would love to get to know that alien. But Malaysian with another Malaysian? It's like scratching your fingernails on the blackboard... that ear-twitching defiling sound that annoys you to your very soul. When you see a Chinese-Chinese, they're like the opposite poles of magnets attracting to each other. Smooth.

Or could this whole peculiar phenomena boils down to me? Am I that ugly? Am I that boring? Am I too offensive? As far as I think, getting to know another person one would never exchange sarcasms nor offensive statements in a dialogue... provided you are a socially accepted normal person. I am one, I think! So, what's wrong? Do I just happen to meet with the wrong kind of [chinese] Malaysians all the time?

Personally, I find it rather pathetic to see the way Malaysians treating another Malaysian. Over the years, I have come to believe that I will never seek out another Malaysian as a companion because of my past observations. I couldn't be bothered by them.

"Join the Malaysian Association!! It's good"

I'm like why should I? I don't want to join the association just to realize that there IS a division of tongues and each of these division don't really mingle with each other. There exist such segregation! This is so true in Saskatoon. It's an ugly sight and I don't want to know that it exists here in Leeds as well by joining the association. It's really sad

Am I discriminating my fellow countrymates then? Even if I am, the discriminating has already exists and wouldn't make any difference to me if I'm discriminating them discreetly, & not as blatantly as them. Who's to blame? Again, where's the bond like that of the Chinese nationales, Spanish, etc. ? Where is the unity?

There are, however, a few nice people out there and they are usually the mature ones. They are hard to find among the hoardes of unloving, unbonding, and disunified [Chinese] Malaysians.

I have a confession to make. When I heard that there will be ethnic Malays going to Leeds with us, I was actually very glad and appreciated that opportunity. Then I began to question my preferences towards the Chinese Malaysian, which I have begin to dislike over the years. Really. If you can understand my haphazard thoughts, you are truely blessed with a mind of intelligence. If you don't, maybe you're as confused as my unorganized mind thinking of all these to write up. So, we're even.

Apart from all those above, NOT being in Malaysia (as in the whole or partly) is what I LOVE most! To be in a really multicultured and ethnic society (Chinese Malaysians not included)is truely an amazing experience.

That's not that. I have lots more to write but I think enough is enough. Cheers!