Conviction of my foolishness

What happenned on Monday noon now has a bigger impact on me as people has been spreading "the news". The more I hear about this news the more I begin to feel the gravity of my foolishness of my action and consequently the heavier the feelings of guilt that entails. What I did was really and totally inappropriate. I was all in a state of confusion and did not, as far as I can remember, have a clear mind to reason things out reasonably and was also filled with angry feelings and guilt of being violent towards HF whether or not intentional, therefore, I was unconsciously impelled to protest my own guilts in sheer desperation to exonerate myself from the chaotic thoughts that has apparently dominated my very mind. Even after I have explained why I did it, I still do not think it is sufficient to justify my cause of foolish act. Perhaps no explanations could ever justify. Perhaps it is time that I stay put and solve any problems that comes to me instead of repeatedly running away from them.

Such gravity of guilt is collaterally building me up a new character with new insights that I should have adopted a long time ago but did not evaluate the importance of it. It is really difficult to face the reality of such bitter[-sweet] consequences of my actions although I averred I take all responsibilities of it. I am however, thankful and give credits to my family for establishing in me successfully a firm foundation of 'looking on the bright side' or simply 'optimistic beliefs' in life; for without this establishment I do not think think I could have move on with life, if already impossible, especially with the consideration of the beastly violentful act.

I vowed to myself never ever to do that ever again.