The Secret to a Lasting Marriage : Embrace Imperfection (Must read for married and unmarried people)

Thanks to LYHV for this forwarded-mail, which I find quite insightful and perhaps useful to my current relationship with HF. I invite all to have a read.

When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food
for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in
particular when she had made breakfast dinner after a long,
hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs,
sausage and an extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I
remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet, all my dad did
was reached for his toast, smiled at my mom, and asked me how
my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember
watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat
every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I
remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the
toast. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby, I love
burned toast."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked
him if he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his
arms and said, "Debbie, your mommy put in a hard day at work
today and she's real tired. And besides, a little burnt toast
never hurt anyone!"

In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner...and
the kindness my daddy showed my mom. To this day, it's a
cherished memory from my childhood that I'll never forget. And
it's one that came to mind just recently when Jack and I sat
down to eat dinner.
I had arrived home late...as usual...and decided we would have
breakfast food for dinner. Some things never change, I
suppose!

To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly
began to cook eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast.
Thinking I had things under control, I glanced through the
mail for the day. It was only a few minutes later that I
remembered that I had forgotten to take the toast out of the
oven!

Now, had it been any other day -- and had we had more than two
pieces of bread in the entire house -- I would have started
all over , but it had been one of those days and I had just
used up the last two pieces of bread. So burnt toast it was!

As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a
comment about the toast. But all I got was a "Thank you!" I
watched as he ate bite by bite, all the time waiting for some
comment about the toast. But instead, all Jack said was,
"Babe, this is great. Thanks for cooking tonight. I know you
had a hard day."

As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought
about my mom and dad...how burnt toast hadn't been a
deal-breaker for them. And I quietly thanked God for giving me
a marriage where burnt toast wasn't a deal-breaker either!


You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect
people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook. And you might be
surprised to find out that Jack isn't the perfect husband! He
likes to play his music too loud, he will always find a way to
avoid yard work, and he watches far too many sports. Believe
it or not, watching " Golf Academy" is not my idea of a great
night at home!

But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to
accept the imperfections in each other. Over time, we have
stopped trying to make each other in our own mould and have
learned to celebrate our differences. You might say that we've
learned to love each other for who we really are!

For example, I like to take my time, I'm a perfectionist, and
I'm even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too
little. Jack, on the other hand, is disciplined, studious, an
early riser, and is a marketer's dream consumer. I count
pennies and Jack could care less! Where he is strong, I am
weak, and vice versa.

And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we're
also very much alike. I can look at him and tell you what he's
thinking. I can predict his actions before he finalizes his
plans. On the other hand, he knows whether I'm troubled or not
the moment I enter a room.

We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are
still best friends. We've travelled through many valleys and
enjoyed many mountaintops. And yet, at the same time, Jack and
I must work every minute of every day to make this thing
called "marriage" work!

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept
each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's
differences - is the one of the most important keys to
creating a healthy, growing, and lasting marriage
relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to
take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your married
life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's
the only One who will be able to give you a marriage where
burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker!