88 Ways to Know If You're Chinese

Received a forwarded email from a friend. Found this to be rather interesting so, I have bold-faced each that applies to me as the truth and/or at least it's what I've been doing. Out of 88, only 65 applies to me, which means I may just be 73.8% Chinese! Here's the list:

1. You look like you are 18

2. You like to eat chicken feet.

3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.

4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.

5. You sing karaoke.

6. Your house is covered with tile.

7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.

8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.

9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control.

10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.

11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.

12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.

13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".

14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.

15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.

16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.

17. You love to use coupons.

18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol.

19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.

20. You take showers at night.

21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.

22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.

23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male

24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you

25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.

26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable

27. You love Las Vegas , slot machines, and blackjack

28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse thepaper.

29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.

30. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. That's why you need the vinyl tablecloth.

32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.

33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.

34. You have never used your dishwasher.

35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.

36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.

37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers

38. You have a piano in your living room.

39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).

40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.

41. You hate to waste food

42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing

43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.

44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses. (not me but I know tonnes of people who does this)

45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.

46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always dried and include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.

47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.

48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.

49. The dashboard of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys.

50. You don't use measuring cups.

51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.

52. You have a teacup with a cover on it

53. You always look phone numbers up in the! Phone book, since calling information (*69) costs 50 cents.

54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.

55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.

56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.

57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films

58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.

59. Shaolin actually means something to you.

60. You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs.

61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.

62. You never call your parents just to say hi.

63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods due to "yeet hay". (in Mandarin: 上火)

65. You know what "yeet hay" is.

66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10 feet apart.

67. You use a face cloth.

68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places.

69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics

70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again

71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it

72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

73. You know what moon cakes are

74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.

75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.

76.You iron your our own shirts

77. You play a musical instrument.

78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.

79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.

80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.

81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

82. You majored in something practical like engineering medicine or law.

83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.

84. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.

85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.

86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.

87. You know why there are 88 reasons.

88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends.

For those of you who don't already know why it is 88 or the number 8, well, here's a simple explanation. Eight is considered as a lucky number in the Chinese culture and communities. It is homophonous to the Chinese word 'prosperity'. There are many things in the culture that are considered to be auspicious, therefore, it will not be uncommon to see bizarre practices expressed in forms of decorations, ornaments, and symbolicisms. Perhaps the greater underlying reasons for most practices will always connote good luck, which will bring prosperity, therefore, surplus, long life, and good health, and so on and so forth.

Hence, it should not be surprising so as to raise another curious brow up when you spot a car with registration plate that reads with the numbers 2's and 8's.

Behind these practices also exist an established practices of taboos and superstitious beliefs. Sometimes one practice will conflict another. For example, it is a common practice to clean up or dust away one's home before Chinese New Year. All must be spick-and-span before welcoming the festive season. Such practice is a belief to dust away bad luck or any unwanted uncleanliness. But the year 28AD or 128AD, ... 1928, 2028... etc., I doubt the house will be cleaned. The contradicting belief would be such that one would sweep away all the good fortunes of that home.

Despite all that, they will never stop any Chinese from having a good time with plenty of good food over the festive season with many great companies of friends and lots of card games (gambling!) I take this opportunity to wish everybody a Happy Chinese New year, and Gong Xi Fa Cai.

Sure Lock Ad: A True Poo Story

Must watch from start to end! Not sure if this falls under the blonde jokes category. Very hilarious!



If you prefer to view this in fullscreen, click here.

The Dangers of Blogging

New Look

Ahh, what a refreshing make-over of my pet blog. Been over three years and pushing to the fourth year soon. The colors, predominantly blue contours, goes easy with the eyes for reading comfort. The heading of this blog seemed much more organised, finished with a picture of me, in Athens (Greece), then followed by a brief introduction of what Braindumpster is all about.

A different perspective

An artist offers a different perspective of drawing. Some say it's perverted art, while others say it's very creative! I found it humorous.

Welcome home to...

Durians! The thorniest fruit with the strongest smell and taste ever in the fruit kingdom! At least I would like to think that my "Welcome Home" platters were these creamy delicious sweet desserts.

Look it up in Wikipedia if you don't already know what this is. But if you're not Malaysian, Thai, Cantonese, or Singaporean, you would most probably hate everything about this king of fruits!

**durian farts...!!**

So, I haven't visited curry houses yet nor had I had much curries. **pinches nose** However, the one thing I am trying to 'have' is a normal biological clock. Jetlag has left me **durian belched** totally restless! Just had 4 hours of sleep. The worst is probably trying to re-adjust to the humid heat here. I'm still having hard time trying to breathe properly. My brother and cousins advised that I will probably need a week to get used to the weather here.

I can't wait to have a walk-in freezer so I can live there till I get used to it! I sucked!

Outraged over bank charges

High street banks in the UK believed that they are providing their customers a service and can charge them whether or not they are directly related to your account.

They say it is a "fair, reasonable, and transparent" charge. I say they are a bunch of opportunists! It is clearly an excellent example of The Poor Making the Rich Richer! Or best of of all and I think, "The Rich Making the Poor Poorer" fits this entire article.

I do not oppose to charges on overdrawn accounts. The charges in place, per se, is a fair consequence. However the amount that is being charged upon customers is unreasonable and unfair, albeit warned. It is more than the legal maximum amount. It can have a deleterious consequence on a person's financial health.

If you have insufficient funds to pay your bills directly from you account, say for that month, the charges have only made your situation worst. At £35 (average) for each transaction, it could mean more than a penalty charge, albeit this is something that the banks will never admit to. It can be seen as their way of taking advantage of the situation to make even more money out of a poor man's pocket. Many thinks a charge between £5 and 12£ is a fair and reasonable charge--although we all wished there will be no charges at all. Heaven forbids, they could have easily levy a charge of £120 (more or less) each transaction for such a situation! Evidently, that would be tantamount to robbing -- the intention to deprive a person of his belonging indefinitely! Note that the amount could be an arbitrary amount!

I read in newspaper about the unfortunate incident of an English girl who depended on public funds (welfare benefits) as her source of income. She has bills to pay monthly so she has several Direct Debit (DD) and/or Standing Order (SO) instructions with her bank so that her bank will pay out the specified amount on the specified day every month. She did not get paid (her benefits) on time in one of the months and that month alone, her bank has charged her over £750!! This is a CLEAN PROFIT for them! That figure must have included interest rates on late payments as well as fees for unpaid items. Notice that interest rates on late payments (a variable amount) are different from a fees levied for late payment (a fixed charge).

In a forum, I read from a participant's posting saying that she got charged 38£ for an overdrawn amount of 0.29£ on her account. Reasonable? I think many will be furious! If that does not spell out the letters R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S, you should just stop reading and go back and continue sipping your champagne beside your private pool. In some ways, I have occasionally seen these high street banks as robbers hiding behind the veil of a legal business and excluded morality!

The charges are often labeled as "Administrative charges" [for unpaid items].
What [TF] are they?
They say that it is the service that they provide us that gave us the convenience of payments, i.e. DD and SO. That because insufficient funds, administrative works took place. But I thought all these were computerized!? HF once shouted over the phone with a HSBC's customer service, "What administrative work have you done that I have to pay you £38??!!" She was right, they have not done any work! It was just another means for them to make more money. The customer service on the other end of the line kept saying that there was no money. He couldn't answer HF's question. Ironically, if there was no money, they have practically made you worst--a bankrupt!
If you know of a gold mine, wouldn't you want to mine all of it out?! A £38 charge over a 3.08£ overdrawned on HF's account! After the unpleasant commotion over the phone, HF was promised she will get her money back. Indeed, she got her money back!

The banks know they are not doing all of this right. They will take your money and keep quite about it. If you complaint, they will say that it is already in the terms and conditions and YOU have AGREED to them when you bank with them. Many will be deterred by this. But if you don't do anything, you're only letting them keep your money that is rightfully yours! It's like them saying "If you want your money back, you gotta ask for it! Until then, it is ours to keep!" Their terms and conditions of their services allows them to legally do the latter part by levying the said charges. It could be, for all you know, a 100£, per transaction! You gotta fight for it!

See http://tinyurl.com/zl4tg for a list of people who have managed to claim back their money from these 'illegal bank charges'. You'll be quite amazed!

IF they are doing everything legally, then they will have every reasons to refute a claim and NOT to refund. Strange enough, they DID refund many people their money and disguised it as "a gesture of goodwill and without admission of liability or error". Further, banks indirectly threatened (and 'black-list') you if you try to claim your money again by saying "we may need to consider if we are prepared to continue to provide you with your existing banking facilities".

One person got back over 8,000£ in the reclaim of over 5 years of these charges! I got back my full amount of the claim I asked for. If the money is not yours, then it will never be yours regardless the number of times you complaint and threatens to take them to court for settlement. Suffice to say that it certainly does not take a financial analyst or a great imagination to realize the blatant truth of this situation.

Hilarious gag: Chinese Takeaway

Chinese New Year

The year so far has been packed with joys of festivities. Didn't we exchanged gifts over Christmas? Watched grand pyrolympics show ushering the New Year of 2007? Bought/receive more gifts for/from a special person/friend on his/her birthday? Up to this point, it may seem to be all for most people.

Wait a minute, did I miss Valentine's Day?? As for V-day, I doubt many could come up with Jasin Boland's feat. It's like the Valentine of Valentine's day! Little thoughtful gestures and keep the romantic factor alive would suffice for most, and that was exactly what I did although I wish I could have done more. HF got me a year's subscription for a stock photography website so I can showcase my creativity (if I have any left). I prepared a special candle-light home-cooked meal just for her with Eeyore the donkey waiting for her by the dish decorated with helium balloons and red tulips. Some got married on this day, thus, calls for a double celebration -- turning the over commercialized day into a more meaningful personal celebration. I've even seen flyers that reads "I hate Valentines" or "Valentine's my arse" as a form of advertising for a nightclub. I hope it went well.

They have been the best so far.

Chinese New Year is up next and it's happening this weekend! And this festival celebrated by Chinese communities all over the world lasts for 15 calendar days. Had I been a very traditional Chinese Chinese (one that closely abides in all Chinese customs and traditions), I would not have just been driven up the walls, but up to the ceiling. (LoL!) Being a Chinese Malaysian, only the first few days are of importance. And the Chinese Valentine's Day is on the 15th day, that would mean I have TWO Valentine's Day. My lady would be very, very pleased. :)

We have planned to make special dishes that are customary to have only during CNY. Unfortunately, these special dishes are not just one or two. I was just thinking because the Chinese eats any living thing with a back (dorsal) facing the skies/sun, they certainly will not have a problem to come up with another. I'm not saying that we will have reptiles, or canines as a dish, but simply suggesting there are innumerous of those special dishes.

Don't you just love all of these? There's always something to look forward to do. I'm not exhausted, but I am broke. In a way, I'm quite thankful that there will be no more festivals where we will be directly involved... at least not until I have a positive flow of income.

It's a truck!

Imagine teaching kids words like clock but you keep hearing the word clock without its "L". Try bring your kid to a furniture store and your kid get all excited and shows you that s/he knows how to say clock in her own way. LoL!

24 is on!

Been waiting for the actions and adrenaline rush of TV hit series 24 featuring Keifer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, who was an agent for CTU (Counter Terrorist Unit), a government agency. It is season six now. The past seasons has been awesome! This is a must watch!

Italian Police Patrol Cars

Italian Police Lamborghini - video powered by Metacafe

New Samsung cellphone

SGH D900

SGH D900

SGH D900

SGH D900

SGH D900

Got it on the last day of last year. Switching from my previous phone, an O2 XDA IIi, which was rather wide, to this short rather narrow and slim (world's slimmest) has been a huge adjustment for me. I now only need my thumb to send text messages -- no need for stylus pen no more. The one thing I love about this phone is the high resolution of the screen. It's crisp and sharply detailed. The theme wallpaper is awesome, featuring a morphing Big Ben theme with time where the skies will be bright blue and sunny during day time with birds flying across the screen and shooting stars in the night. The one thing that caught my attention was when I was in a no reception area. It shows me a country-side picture as though I'm totally lost!

3.0MPx Camera! Awesome phone!

Madness award

MAD FOR SEX:

A husband who lost his sexual inhibitions after sustaining a severe head injury at work has won over £3 million [in compensation]. London's High Court awarded Stephen Tame the money, saying that his sexual and behavioral problems had ended his marriage and left him needing 24-hour professional care. Since the accident Tame has said embarrassing things in the company of others, misbehaved in the presence of females and been ringing sex-lines. The judge said that the award was of a significant amount considering Tame had "lost his marriage and probably lost the prospect of a family."

December 20, 2006. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/essex/6193693.stm

It's like saying Tame comes back from death, shags many many people (women), and receives £3 million for it! He lost his wife btw due to his intolerable behavior. What do yo think?

AlexChiu.com Eternal life??

I don't quite remember how I ran into this Asian (hereforth as 'azn') guy's website claiming to know the secrets to eternal life using conventional methods -- magnets! You should really take a look at his site at http://www.alexchiu.com/, a website that even Google blocks because of what Alex is claiming.

Considering the fact that he "...is afraid of death" (quoted), his method or way to eternal life is quite bizarre because it looks like it is his quest to stop human from reproducing. Of course, if you think on extreme sides, when everyone else dies and you're the only living one (maybe along with others who have used his methods), wouldn't that feeling of being in eternity naturally falls in place?

Reproduction and/or sexual reproduction is the very basic instinct of all organic creatures and living things. It is natural. And to stop that process is blatantly an act of defying mother nature, thus unnatural.

On the other hand, maybe he is a genius!? A way to making him rich? I mean, how long can one person put up with magnets on one's both fingers and feet? Definitely not for the rest of one's remaining life! So, eternal life here on earth? Gimme a break!