Halloween Time

It's Halloween and you can be anything weird you want and won't be labelled a freak. Anything you want and you can, sure... EXCEPT yourself.

Today, we turned back our clock 1 hour.
That is a very good thing for ravers and drinkers -- 1 more hour to get more drinks and more drunk as bars are open for another hour longer. Once you get hammered, you have one more hour to sleep in.

It's weird that they have day light savings here. Why can't it be like Saskatchewan? No such hassle. I wonder if the rest of the world knows about this. Now it gets dark at about 5pm, rather than almost 6pm. nonsense.

I'm learning Latin from my law books. gee. how very daunting already just by the number of have-to-read-cases.

Not a shadow missing

Shot by: Cherie Cheng WY -- I am very pleased to look at this photo. I find a harmonious balance in everything from the shadowed background to the pure green of the plant that essentially signify life and from there how the light cast its shadows.

Composition wise, in my opinion, is simply at its best. I very much like how the shadows are casted against the table or was it the floor. The sun lights falls on the floor through a window creating the correct distracting for the eyes that would naturally travel across the picture diagonally. just love everything about this picture.

that's about all I'd say. without much elaboration, I hope you can appreciate it as much as I do.

From Sarah with love

Sarah Wen Shanzi, got her diploma in medicine from China. Currently doing international trade with Leeds Met Uni. Recently, I suspect she has a 'thing' for me and I am, oddly, confused as to what to do about it.

Could it be just my imagination? I have discussed this with my friends and they couldn't agree any more with me. Do they know something that I don't?? I don't know but seriously I don't know what to do. She's a very, very gentle girl and emotional as well. I like her but... it's hard to say.

Ben, BEN!! Help!! You're better looking than I am and have more experiences so I would need your advises and Scott's. Gee, bunch of dinks... too far away.

Actually, there's a song called "From Sarah with Love" by Sarah Connor.

Maybe the best thing is to stay cool and be who I really am... let things happen naturally. If it works, then good; if not... sigh.

An email to myself

You're not going to believe what i just thought up for my Christmas gift. I wish I can spend 2 weeks in the Rocky mountains soaking half my body in the hot springs of +33 centigrade, and the other half minus 22 centigrade. Then head off to see mah'aunty liz... with brother, heard he's going to spend time with you too. I could then bagged some finest Montreal's bagel I dearly miss, and store them in my freezer for 1 year like what I did to the last bag in 2002. We can piggy back our hope-still-small-in-size cousins till they yell out for mommy to stop us. Then teach Chinese Sword-fighting to L'll William how to defend himself from the 4 classic witch sisters found in the tales of the Princesses of the Montralotz. Buy lots of stuffs as I'm richer in terms of pounds sterling per Canadian dollars. hah, i'll pay for the rent for putting up a couple of nights in montreal... coz anybody who hails from the Oukay land is flithy rich, and they speak funny and disproportionated English largely because they don't know their "A" as in "Canadians, eh!?" *grins* whatever... I think living with polar bears and sleeping in igloos like what I've done for the past 4 years is so much more interesting than stepping on snails trying to cross the sidewalks on rainy evenings, and almost getting killed by rackless drivers(i mean women too, okay?) who do not know the meaning of yield to pedestrians.

Sounds like a great plan for me this December.......... for dad to consider if he's financially capable to wrap up this gift and send to me... via wire-transfer. I highly doubt the possibility of this gift, so, it'll always be the great plan.

The weather here has been spitting on us everyday, none stop. Little rains, i realized, has driven me crazy. but snow...*smiles* just makes me happy. something wrong with me? Not really. There's no aesthetic values attached to rain as oppose to snows, maybe that's why I like the latter more although they are both gloomy days.

Maple leaves are now found all over the ground assorted with multiple colors. Like Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty would say, should he describe what I think is... B-E-A-UUUuuuu-tiful! Canada-eh? Toronto Mapel Leaf (TML) fans' site.

I was up in Manchester on Sunday's afternoon to meet up Wang's friend, who was her business partner. The 2 Korean friends, apparently are also 2 fanatics for soccer. When we arrived back in Leeds, we realized we've spent £24.60 unnecessarily for the travel just to watch the match on TV in a bar. We chatted and got to know them better as well. because of the disgusting UK weather, we didn't go anywhere else. heard Manchester's Asian street or typically known as China town is one of UK's best. Waay better than Leeds, hence warrants a must-go-and-check-it-out next time.
*in deep thoughts* hmm, sounds like a familiar story. did i tell this story already??

I had not slept and I'm at campus at this moment. Too much thoughts running in and out of my overproductive brain; should be in the dumpster... before i kill myself. *gasp!* that's a tabooed word! mom will kill you! *gasp!* again!!

So, ladies and gentlemen, you have now visualized the psychological paranoia of an insomnia, which I think I'm turning out to be... because of our coffee-drinking Korean friends which, out of respect, I have to comply.

I hope I have entertained myself. Certainly, this is NOT a cause for worry(-ies to mom) to myself...

On to the desktop

Once again, Google makes Microsoft (MS) look out of date.

Hardly a month goes by without Google, the world's most popular internet search engine, launching another cool product that annoys its arch-rival, Microsoft. "Google desktop search" (GDS), a tiny bit of free software that puts a cute little licon on the taskbar of MS Windows OS. It calls up the usual Google page that is used to perform web searches, except that users can now also find almost anything they have lost on their computer's hard drives.

Google thereby addresses one of the biggest problems with today's Windows "desktop"; that stuff is increasingly hard to find. The Macintosh system, which Apple pioneered in the 1980s, and Windows, Miscosoft's rather clumsy imitation of it, were appropriate when most PC users needed to keep track of just a few dozen files. Today they tend to have thousands, including pictures, songs, and e-mail. If you want to find all the files that have something to do with, say, your friend Jane, forget it.

With GDS, however, this becomes easy. What makes it so embarrassing for MS is that the world's biggest software company's answer to this problem was supposed to be contained in a new file-storage and search system in the next version of Windows, code-named Longhorn. Alas, in August MS announced that Longhorn would not be available until 2006, and that its new storage method, called WinFS, had been dropped.

It gets worse for MS. For months already, Google has also been letting people test its new web-based email service, Gmail, which I am now subscribed to. This offers new and more intuitive ways of viewing trails of emails. More importantly, it offers a huge amount of free storage (1 GB), so that users can store their digital stuff on Google's server computers rather than on their own (Windows-run) PC's. Google, in other words, is attacking from every side. And there is more in the pipeline. "Google Print" is a software that will help people search inside books (similar to a technology now provided by Amazon.com). "Google SMS" will help people to search the web from their cellphones (Microsoft hates this too). Even a Google web browser is apparently in the works.

To be sure, nobody is yet counting Microsoft out. The firm has a record of coming late to new technologies, but then playing so rough (and wielding its OS monopoly so shamelessly) that it still manages to be the last one standing. In an effort to catch up with Google, Microsoft plans to launch a new search engine for both the web and the desktop, separate from Longhorn, by the end of this year. But what little of it is visible so far looks remarkably like, ahem, Google!
-edited. extracted from The Economist, oct23rd; pg. 73
Hyper links nodes, very intriguing. However, you do need Java JRE 1.3.1 13 installed in your system to view.

Manchester

Came back to Leeds about 2 hours ago.
I spent the entire afternoon in Manchester with Dorothy Wang, who is Chinese nationale. We were there to meet up with some of her friends who, apparently, had a good business relation with Wang's ex-company. The Korean friends came to Manchester for business.

They are soccer fanatics. The minute we met at the train station, they invite us to join them to search for a nearby bar to watch the Manchester Utd. v. Arsenal match. ManU won... 2-0.

When we arrived back in Leeds, I realized we were in Manchester just to watch the match. We had quite a good laugh at it. Train ticket cost £12.30 for return. Will go the Manchester again some time in future. We did not get to see much of it anyway. Heard the 唐人街 (Chinese Street) is the one of the best in the U.K. Call it CSUK? ... for Chinese Street in the United Kingdom? akin to FCUK, French-Connecion in the UK. whatever.

Something really hilarious happened to Wang at the Victoria Train Station, Manchester; felt like what happened to Sara when she was in London.

gotta study now. sia!

Business Economics

At the library today, I stumbled upon a book entitled "Business Economics". It struck upon me a mix feelings of confusion and gladness. I have to admit that the years I have spent at the University of Saskatchewan (UoS) doing a B.A in Business Economics, I never really knew the actual meaning or the essence of Business Economics.

Business Economics as the course is taught at UoS is a combination of Economics classes/courses with the College of Arts and Science, and Commerce classes with the College of Commerce. Essentially, students would study pure economics from micro/macroEconomics, mathematical economics and statistical analysis for economics, etc., to Organization Behaviors, Production Management, Managerial Accounting, Marketing, etc. However, such dedicated subject as "Business Economics" has never been in the syllabus.

The book itself was already enticing me to pick it up and so i did; checked it out of the library. The questions of "What IS Business Economics? How come I have never come across this book or knew the existence of Business Economics?" kept pounding in my mind just before I flipped its cover.

Flipped to the "Introduction" page and read through thoroughly only to find interesting facts. Vague memories of general economics theories and familiar names mentioned began to make more sense as I continued reading until I hit a subtitle: What is Business Economics and its scope. This is what Maria Moschandreas, the author, has to say about what I did not know:

"This book attempts to synthesize tradional and modern contributions to the theory of the firm in a way that is comprehensible to undergraduate students. The outcome of this synthesis is a part of economic knowledge which can address questions of immediate interest to business enterprises.
Business economics can therefore be defined as that part of economic theory which focuses on business enterprises and inquires into the factors contributing to the diversity of organizational structures and to the relationships of firms with labor, capital, and product markets.

Business economics is, therefore, concerned with problems related with business organization, management and strategy. Its enquiry includes issues such as the following:

An exploration of the reasons why firms emerge;

What contributes to their vertical, horizontal and spacial expansion;

The role and function of entrepreneurship; the significance of organizational structure;

The relationship of the firm with its employess, the providers of capital and its consumers, and;

The interaction between firms and the industrial environment."

Hello? Did you manage to read up to the last line? Wake up!! I understood what it says there although we do not have Moschandreas' textbook. We have covered most of the items by taking various classes in both Colleges mentioned above. Frankly speaking, I dare to believe that not even my classmates knew about that.

To make my life and YOUR life easier, we shall try to rephrase the couple of paragraphs above into easy-to-understand English:
"Business Economics is concerned with the nature, scope and functioning of business enterprises. The apporach it adopts comprises a synthesis of tradional and modern economic concepts and analysis tools to build a coherent analytical framework capable of dealing with questions of direct relevance to business. It also uses real worl examples and is enriched with material drawn from a variety of international sources, covering cases ranging from the small firm to the international corporation." As quoted from the sypnosis, at the back of the book.

There! how's that?

It is, however, an irony to me, that somebody knew so much better about the bachelor's degree I got over 4 years of university. At the same time, I feel like I know more about [theoritical] economics and commercial issues. I suppose I can do a 'one plus one = two' thingy.

Flipping through the pages recalls fond memories of me at the Main Library of UoS struggling through assignments, dissertations, and projects. The textbook is furnished with illustrations, graphs, tabulated data, flow charts...etc., but my law textbook is as boring as dead people can get. haha! I had to draw little cartoons on the margins to illustrate each cases.

That's all my bored mind has to say. later.

k9 1314

k9 1314 means "Canine 一生一世" and in plain English 'Dogs for life.'

No, I was NOT bitten nor gnawed at by that cute biggie beast that startled me. I'm fine.

出来了！没什么重要！ 受得了！ I can take it! No problem! It was just a temporary shock. Not even Whisky has barked at me like what the Alsatian did.

I love dogs. they're such lovely creatures ever made! What about cats? mmm... i'm a bit sketchy on that one but i'd love to have a cat only if i have a dog. they will show me what it's meant by harmony at home.
So, k9 1314!!

Cheers!!

k9phobes

Never have I thought i'd be attacked by a dog that's bigger than my dog, Whisky who's medium build in size.

Yesterday, in a restaurant the server came out of his kitchen to hand over my food when his huge brown with black patches Alsatian suddenly came out of the kitchen and started barking and went up on me. I almost tripped and fell. Had I fell, I'd have been gnawed at. The beast had his jaws almost up to my chin; its paws were on my right thigh and my stomach. A very frigthening experience!!

I walked out thinking, "woah!! that was something! what a huge cute dog! my favorite!" I was terrified as I was startled by it, but otherwise, I'd have pat on its head... and probably give him some of the rotten chips I just received from the cook.

The big Issue

The security guard whom I spoke to last night told me stuffs about life in the city. There are people begging on the streets, the homeless, and addicts, and the likes. He advised not to tip any beggars as 9 out of 10 are addicts, and in doing so we're financing their drug habits and that's no good. There are another group of people who are homeless but 'working' to sell a magazine called "The Big Issue" (TBI) for £1. Generally, 7-8 out of 10 people on the streets would ignore these TBI people. But for very £1 given in exchange for the magazine, 20p goes to them and the remaining goes to the charity for homeless people.

Today, in fact, tonight, as I walked home from Arcadia bar after meeting the Walking Club (signed up for Snowdonia trip on the first weekend of November for £30) a young boy limping towards me and asked if I could spare him some spare changes. He's not doing TBI and I thought I'd be risking as he might be an addict or a gypsy. He asked for food.

By the way, he looks like he's in young teens and has bruises on the right side of his forehead. His nose looked swallon. All he was wearing is a cotton sweater with hood over a t-shirt.

I walked away saying that I was looking for somebody and that i'll be right back. I needed some time to think about it. It's really a pity to see this boy. Having decided to buy him a meal (there is a KFC nearby) for around £3.69, I went up to him and told him that I'd buy him food instead. He just sat there and in a pitiful voice told me that he rather have £3 so he can go to the [homeless] hostel [by bus]. Tears trickled down his cheeks as he begins to worry there's no place to sleep for the night and it was cold. I can see him shiver. Then he said,

"What's the point? If you treat me a meal, I'll be back here on this spot 5 mins later. I've got to get to the hostel"

I gave him £1. There was another person there who gave the boy his loose change. It's still insufficient for the poor boy. He thanked us, and turned his back to us and limped away.

The next time I'm in downtown, I think I'll purchase TBI for £1 for charity purposes. It's really heart-breaking to see them being ignored by vast majority of people.

Thank God this place doesn't get as cold as Saskatoon (57 degrees celsius below zero!! on January 30, 2004)

Mesmerising peck

I was at the Kirkstall bar.
I was kissed by my classmate, an English girl. Our hands were held together, supposedly to be a handshake, and were saying see-you-later dialogues.

It was 23:10 then. Right after, I turned around and walked away from her already feeling the best traumatic mix feelings of happiness and embarrassment, well, more like blushing. That's the first kiss right there! She's sweet! scho schweeet!

For the next half hour there was nohting on my mind except mesmerising that kiss. The sound she made the she planted her lips on my left cheek. The feel of her lipstick on my cheek after. The way she looked at me when I can see her face again. drove me crazy for a bit... I just had to talk to somebody.

Unfortunately, I picked the security gruad, a very nice chap, as my victim for a conversation about life in Leeds... just to soften the afterscock effects resulted from the kiss. Now that I'm writing about it, I couldn't help thinking about it.

I'm going to bed. I'm going to have a very, very goooooooood sound sleep!

...later guys!

Another quite self-explanatory pic. 

Another quite self-explanatory pic. 

I could down in a cow...

On Saturday, we went shopping for a bit from morning till late afternoon. We were at the market and went to this butcher where my friends bought some seasoned chinese chicken and I was tempted to get something from there as well.

"16oz of T-bone steak, please"

The butcher unhung the meat and lay it on the table. He estimated how much he should cut for 16oz then saw right in.

"that's £7.50, please! It's a little over 16oz though."
"Really? It's not 16oz? what does it weigh?"
"18oz"
"But I asked for 16oz"
"It's hard to estimate from cutting up a fresh meat like that...", that's the best I could remember what he was trying to explain to me.
"OK. But that's too much for me..."
"Tell, you what. give me six quits and I'll give you this."

Hmm... he's giving me a discount of £1.50. Not bad. hehe
"Aight! I'll take it", after thinking about it for a minute.

The last time I had such a huge steak was with the Malaysian people back in Saskatoon at The Keg. It was super! Michelle had a 10oz New York and I had the keg size 16oz New York. The rest of them, Ee Lynn, Erlina, Ivy, Wayman, and Vincent had something else.

After the meal, my tummy bulges out and it was so obvious that I just had to be teased by Eelynn.

So, coming back to Leeds, there I was just staring at the huge piece of steak in my kitchen wondering how I should prepare it. It's steak night for me on Saturday damm right; and the thought of it is already making me hungry. Here's what I did.

Brushed some extra virgin olive oil on both sides of the steak and sprinkled some black peppers and chinese peppers on it with 8 cloves (to be removed later). Let it sit for an hour or two.

It's not that difficult to make a steak really as I recall the day when we had our last steak with Charmei and Benson (and I, when I had so much less hair). I need to make the sauce for it and I used white wine as much as a can of Coca-Cola. In in added 2 teaspoon of chicken stock and sugar. Set aside.

Next, minced up a shallot (2 if you would, mine was a huge one) and stir-fry until brown with butter. Gawd, smells heavenly already! Okay, poured in the wine mixture and let it simmer for another 3-5 minutes until it looks thick. Alcohol evaporates but leaves its aroma behind so don't worry because you're not going to be making soup.

When it looks just right, set it out and set it aside to allow it to cool down, but not in the fridge.

Back to the piece of meat. Make sure your frying pan is smoking hot. Slide the steak down and press its surfaces just to make sure all sides are evenly cooked. I like medium-rare for all my steaks so I have to watch out NOT to over cook it. For those of you who likes it well-done, it's really a cinch.

Dished it out with 3 brocolli's, 3 cauliflowers, 5 english sprouts, 1 baked potato, and 1 sweet corn. That's a REAL meal!

I'll put up the picture of it when it's ready.

After the meal, hehe, i looked at my tummy... and remembered being teased by Eelynn. It's too much. I have shared the 18oz of meat with Bjorn, from Norway who is our roommate.

I treated myself to a movie in which I have just borrowed from a friend. It's called "The Emperor and The Assassin (荆柯刺秦王)". Anyone who wants to know the history of China or what the Terra-Cotta warriors are all about in Xian (西安), this is the movie to watch! It's 3 hours long but every minute of it is worthwhile!

"荆柯" (Jingke) is the Assassin's name
"刺" (ci) means 'to kill' as in assassinate.
"秦王" (qin wang) means the Qin's King or the Emperor during Qin Dynasty when China was unified for the first time.

Sunday, Oct 17.
Nothing much happened today. Just stay home and did some reading.


Later...

Quite self-explanatory 

Quite self-explanatory 

Reflection...

今生绝不会回顾
努力学法律 成功
先是首目标 应该
放下原来的她要不
烦恼心疼不少

我想过得开心点儿
郑静芳，我不会在沪而最你的心了。
我们的蜜日子已经有这儿的结果。
算了。

Everytime I bring myself to belief in us
Even though I realize how foolish of me
to still think I exist in your cold heart
but your have been warm throughout the year

我是爱你。我是真的有爱过你。It's my belief till today
But silly enough of me not to realize 我爱的人不爱我
My mother always say to me 放气吧！外面还有大把少女孩儿等着你选！
It's true. 可是，当时我方不了她。我知道了！知道该怎么做了。
It's not too late.
It's just too foolish.

傻子！ That means, silly!

Grow up and stop kidding naivëly. 她已经不在乎了!
却定了！！从今起绝不会回头看可是我没有后悔爱过你！！

danny a.k.a. 丹尼

Like snakes

...they shed their skins every once in a while. I have consulted the physicians and they have not been very helpful. Both my palms are sheding dead skins. Before I thought it was Tinea Manum but to be honest, I have no idea what it is. The "hard" and "soft" water in the UK could be the root of my problems but otherwise the dry weather?

I'm still curious as to why it lasted till today. Vaseline would help and I have been using the product since last week. No sign of improvement. What's going on? I don't know. Should I waste time consulting doctors? I'm confused...

Maybe I should just leave it as it's not giving me any complications. They's just not a pretty sight... err, gives anybody an eerie feeling when looked upon?

New Technology is here (News)

With oil prices crossing the $50 dollar a barrel threshold and oil pundits predicting
a price of $100 per barrel by 2010, it is no wonder that Bharat Petroleum, India's second largest Petroleum Company (sales of $10-Billion annually) is embracing the hydrogen economy by testing Palcan's rare earth metal hydride hydrogen storage canisters on two and three wheel vehicles.

Huge companies like Ford, Daimler-Chrysler and Honda have delivered fuel cell powered vehicles to the US marketplace, a demonstration that fuel cell power is not just a thing of the future — it is here now, today!

A commitment made recently by the Canadian Government to advance fuel cell commercialization using the proceeds from the privatization of its state-owned Oil Company.

Palcan has a partnership with the well respected, 170-year old trading house Nagase of Japan (sales of $4-Billion annually), to sell Palcan's products to the Japanese market.

Research Institutions such as the University of Victoria, which is utilizing Palcan's 1.5 Kw fuel cell powered scooter, are assisting Palcan's commercialization efforts for low output and closed circuit vehicles through rigorous simulation testing regimes that validate durability.

Palcan Power Systems Inc. is a leading developer and manufacturer of proton exchange membrane (PEM) fuel cell systems under 5 kilowatts and rare earth metal hydride hydrogen storage products.
The Company's proprietary and patent pending technologies form the core of the PalPac™ Power Products Suite.

Palcan's 500 Watt integrated fuel cell power module is aimed directly at low output applications where batteries and smaller internal combustion engines (ICE) are the power source. These include stationary, marine, military and portable power applications. The Company's manufacturing, research and development facilities are located in Burnaby, British Columbia and Jiaxing, China.

The Company trades on Canada's TSX Venture Exchange under the symbol "PC".

The peculiarity of Malaysians

I often ask myself,

"Is it me? It is just me?? Or is it them?"

What does that suppose to mean? Who is them? What am I talking about?

I have been around and lived outside the borders of my home country, Malaysia, and personally I do find Malaysians at home quite nice generally. But the degrees of truth in that seems to decline as I begin to meet more Malaysians who are in the same boat as me -- living abroad.

There was an international night event just last night and I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it with people from all over the world. It was truely a blessing to have got to know somebody (a lass) from Uzbekistan, which is a very rare opportunity. Just a quick and short description of her, she looks very Chinese sporting a well-defined black pairs of brows, not too high nor shallow nose bridge (like those of Northern Chinese and Japanese), and she's got eyes to die for... a pair of hazel brown eyes the shape of those of Iranians or Turkish, or Arabic women -- large and arched like a strong bow yet sexy. Sexiness of the eyes is a very pathetic way of describing such wonderful endowment and I regret to admit that I'm just poor at words.

Got carried away for a moment there, eh? Japanese, Chinese nationales were at large, Indians, Britishs, French, Bahrains, Spanishs, Greeks, Cyprus, Thais, Hollanders, and Americans were the peole I've met there. I was told there was a Malaysian guy in the crowd and I got interested so I sought out for the person. Later, I found out this Malaysian guy. Spoke to him introduced myself and immediately I can sense he wasn't really interested in getting to know me, who is from the same country as he is. Blaming me for over thoughts and being unreasonable, but I do know what's going on based on the number of people I've seen. I think there IS a problem between the Malaysians [Chinese] everywhere. It's hard to see what exactly it is.

Take a step back and look at other nationalities i.e. the Chinese, who have been very popular to stick among themselves as all of them have that instinct to look out for each other and get things done together. I can see their bondings for each other even when we're talking about meeting one as stranger. Another nationality, the Spanish people, they are very closely knitted not only in their language and culture, but also in friendship even if s/he is a stranger initially.

Well, the thing is everybody was once a stranger. The difference is that they all have the initiative to get to know and/or seek out their kind and really get to know each other. But among the Malaysians, I regret to discover these lackings or inadequacies. Is it the language that we speak? During Saskatoon days, I noticed an ongoing trend that only the Cantonese speaking Malaysians stick to themselves, the English speaking Malaysians in another group, and the Mandarin speaking Malaysians are usually found to be with the Cantonese tongues or vice-versa. Therefore, there is essentially 2-3 groups of Malaysians hanging out independently. Am I observing the very similar social illness over here in Leeds?

He wasn't very polite. I'm not saying that I was genuinely polite and stainless as silver wares but I have noticed the predisposition from the norm. We were in the middle of a conversation (getting to know him) and he said he'll be right back and he dashed out the exit door and never came back. Maybe his ride was here? Maybe he found me boring? Maybe he just don't want to talk to another Malaysian? Maybe... everything!!? I don't know.

If I were to get £1 for assuming that there is some kind of subtle problems in getting to know another fellow Malaysian is not false or that the oversea Malaysians are not very much interested in bonding with another country-mate (comrade?), I would be disproportionately rich by now. I have to base on my observed samples over the past years including the period I have been living here in Leeds to have arrived at such conclusion. Peculiar I find!

Where is the bond?
Where is the love?

I see another Malaysian I would love to get to know. I did not meet up with an alien from another planet, and even so, I would love to get to know that alien. But Malaysian with another Malaysian? It's like scratching your fingernails on the blackboard... that ear-twitching defiling sound that annoys you to your very soul. When you see a Chinese-Chinese, they're like the opposite poles of magnets attracting to each other. Smooth.

Or could this whole peculiar phenomena boils down to me? Am I that ugly? Am I that boring? Am I too offensive? As far as I think, getting to know another person one would never exchange sarcasms nor offensive statements in a dialogue... provided you are a socially accepted normal person. I am one, I think! So, what's wrong? Do I just happen to meet with the wrong kind of [chinese] Malaysians all the time?

Personally, I find it rather pathetic to see the way Malaysians treating another Malaysian. Over the years, I have come to believe that I will never seek out another Malaysian as a companion because of my past observations. I couldn't be bothered by them.

"Join the Malaysian Association!! It's good"

I'm like why should I? I don't want to join the association just to realize that there IS a division of tongues and each of these division don't really mingle with each other. There exist such segregation! This is so true in Saskatoon. It's an ugly sight and I don't want to know that it exists here in Leeds as well by joining the association. It's really sad

Am I discriminating my fellow countrymates then? Even if I am, the discriminating has already exists and wouldn't make any difference to me if I'm discriminating them discreetly, & not as blatantly as them. Who's to blame? Again, where's the bond like that of the Chinese nationales, Spanish, etc. ? Where is the unity?

There are, however, a few nice people out there and they are usually the mature ones. They are hard to find among the hoardes of unloving, unbonding, and disunified [Chinese] Malaysians.

I have a confession to make. When I heard that there will be ethnic Malays going to Leeds with us, I was actually very glad and appreciated that opportunity. Then I began to question my preferences towards the Chinese Malaysian, which I have begin to dislike over the years. Really. If you can understand my haphazard thoughts, you are truely blessed with a mind of intelligence. If you don't, maybe you're as confused as my unorganized mind thinking of all these to write up. So, we're even.

Apart from all those above, NOT being in Malaysia (as in the whole or partly) is what I LOVE most! To be in a really multicultured and ethnic society (Chinese Malaysians not included)is truely an amazing experience.

That's not that. I have lots more to write but I think enough is enough. Cheers!

Screen capture: Leeds Metropolitan University's Student Portal v. University of Saskatchewan's Student Portal (PAWS for Personal Access Web Services). Compare and contrast to find out that the system each institution is using is identical. 

Screen capture: University of Saskatchewan's Student Portal (PAWS for Personal Access Web Services) v. Leeds Metropolitan University's Student Portal. Compare and contrast to find out that the system each institution is using is identical. 

Shot by: me -- Alexandria looking vibrantly confident. We were in the bridge connecting the Biology building and the Agriculture building. All of her shots are in color and shot using Fuji Sensia 100F, slide film in case you didn't know. 

Shot by: me -- "She was enchanted to the point of tears" is supposedly to be the title of this photo. It's the best one I can think of. Lovely, isn't it? I mean her... she's well-endowed, imho. 

Shot by: me -- Illford FP4 ISO 100. Used available lightings with no flash. Classroom settings at the University of Saskatchewan, opposite Arts 109. Comments are welcomed. 

月亮代表我的心 -- The moon symbolizes my heart

This is a classic chinese song, which my mom as well as me loved to listen to. The lyrics of this beautiful melody are as follows,

你问我爱你有多深，
我爱你有几分？
我的情也真，
我的爱也真，
月亮代表我的心。

你问我爱你有多深，
我爱你有几分？
我的情不移，
我的爱不变，
月亮代表我的心。

轻轻的一个吻，
已经打动我的心，
深深的一段情，
教我思念到如今。
你问我爱你有多深，
我爱你有几分？
你去想一想，
你去看一看，
月亮代表我的心。


Unfortunately for those of you who cannot read and understand Chinese (I'm not claiming that I do perfectly but subconsciously I know I'm better than most of you), I apologize. I'll help you by translating most of it in due time. So, look back in here from time to time and check out for updates.

To add on, this song has moved me once back in 2001 where I celebrated my first white Christmas in Christopher Lake, Prince Albert, Saskatchewan, Canada. With us was the Intervarsity Christian Fellowship camp that invited most international students to join with them a camp that ran from 23rd to the 28th of December. A couple of Chinese nationals sang this beautiful song acapella and it almost sounded like a Christmas carol -- that of Silent Night -- to be frank. There was so much love to be felt when we all heard of this song on the eve of Christmas; not only the love of Christ and the immediate joyful ambience in conjuction with the birth of Christ but also the love that emanates from sweet voices of these two young ladies who sang the song like it was meant to be. The song enwraped us with full of warmth and comfort while the rest of us listened attentively while the fire woods in the chimney made some crackling sounds to add to the beat (I guess).

That night I don't quite remember if we had fullmoon but I do know we went outside in the minus 15's for a bondfire and BBQ marshmallows. The song will always and faithfully stay in my heart just as the moon faithfully shows itself fully every 29.53 days.

Generally, the song sings to express the depths of ones love can be seen or understood by the depth (as in distance) of the moon to earth as well as its bewitching aura it emits so mysterious yet so hypnotic. *fumbled at words! just wait for the direct translation.*

If anyone of you out there is willing to help out with the direct translation, please do not hessitate to do so by clicking on the "comment" link right at the below this posting.

Click here to watch and listen to the song. I've filtered through many and found this to be the best before I got too lazy again. hehe. Enjoy.

Thank you and later!

Shot by: Me -- xoxoxox, with love. Love this shot! Kudos! 

Shot by: Me -- Classroom. One of my favorite theme and shot. More emphasis was focused on available lightings and manipulation of shadows. Another kudos to Claudia! 

Shot by: Me -- B&W films. I know I would not have her permission to post this up because this is like a funny picture. She's not like this all the time, but she's a real nice cute lass who is always cheerful and uhh... well, like that. Ahem! My fault. But the next black and white picture would be a nice one... one that she wouldn't approve as well. hehe! 

Shot by: me -- The success my photo-shootings largely depends on my subjects, in which case is Claudia. This is one of the best shots I managed to get out of her and by far is the most successful one; hopefully I don't sound as though I'm bragging here. Kudos to her!
The records of these shots (more to come) can be found here. 

Shot by: me -- Grrrrrrrr!! 

Look what I've found...

Did an exact search for "her red thong" on google and pulled out quite a nice story to read.


Trisha vs Liz

Well, my first match was pretty exciting. I had the items that were smashed during the first battle replaced, but I decided to change the bed. I tossed the old mattress and, well, didn't replace it. The wooden bed frame was all that remained. Besides, who could get possibly get hurt when a mattress is involved?

Word spread of the first match, and people were whispering. Then one day, I returned home from school, and seen a couple of new messages on my message manager. The first was my mom, the second my best friend, and the third...my second match. It was a girl named Trisha. She said she had a fight ready between her and Liz. Trisha had a boyfriend named Louie. Trisha was an A student. They were a tight couple for the past 2 ½ years, then Liz moved in. Liz was a cheerleader, and recently slept with Louie, and Trisha found out about it. Trisha challenged Liz, and Liz accepted. It was on!!

Trisha arrived first. She was 17, and in grade 12. She wore a tight pair of white pants with a black belly shirt. It was easy to see her red thongs underneath those white pants. She had short black hair, hazel eyes, and a medium size set of racks. She was like something out of the Playboy magazine. She sat down and told me the story I told you in paragraph 2. I showed her to the guest room, and that is where she waited.

Liz arrived later. She was also 17 and in grade 12. She wore a pair of red tearaway track pants with a white Nike shirt. She had long black hair, big beautiful blue eyes, and a smaller set of tits then Trisha. The thing is, she had the nicest set of hips/ass I have ever seen. Her ass stuck off just perfectly. She was beautiful. I told her that Trisha was already here, and showed her to, The Bedroom. I then went and got Trisha.

The two girls gathered in the bedroom. Trisha wore the same clothes she wore when she entered the house. Liz on the other hand, tore her track pants off, and removed her shirt. She now wore a pair of tiny white silk panties which barely reached the crack off her ass, with no bra.

"This is what your boyfriend really wants!" Liz said.
"Fuck off you fuckin' whore!!"

After uttering the threat, Trisha charged Liz and speared her back into the wall. The impact was enough to leave a hole in the wall. Liz's mouth was wide open, and she let out a cry of pain. Trisha let her fall to the floor. However, that didn't happen. Liz just sat there in the wall. She was stuck in the wall, trying to hold her back. Trisha went over and pulled her out of the hole via her hair. She pulled her to the middle of the floor and gave her an uppercut. Liz's eyes traveled to the back of her head and she hit the floor with a thud. Trisha meant business. Liz lay there motionless, spread eagle, but beautiful at the same time. Trisha went over and sat on Liz's stomach.

"So this is what my boyfriend likes huh?"

Trisha then began to nipple twist Liz until Liz started to squirm. Trisha then got up and lifted Liz up to her feet as well. Liz stood there with her hands dangling by her side, and a trickle of blood flowing down her lip. Trisha kicked Liz in the stomach, and Liz doubled forward. Trisha placed Liz's head between her thighs and just stood there. Trisha glanced down and noticed Liz's tight little silk white panties. She reached down and started to rub Liz's ass, and Liz didn't retaliate. Trisha was taking too long, and Liz made her pay. Liz used her legs to stand upright, with Trisha on her back, facing Liz's beautiful behind. Liz had Trisha by the legs, and wondered what to do with her. Trisha was just hanging there, trying desperately to get free. She yanked on Liz's panties giving her a wedgie, but Liz wasn't letting go. Liz stood on the bed and quickly pulled Trisha's legs forward and dropped to her knees. Trisha flew over Liz and struck the wall back first. THUD!! Trisha moaned and dropped in a sitting position. She didn't have a chance to conceal her back when Crack!! Liz kneed Trisha right in the mouth. Blood flew from Trisha's lips, and tears were flowing from her cheeks. Trisha instantly went to fall on her side, but she was too close to the side of the bed. Instead of staying on the bed, she hit the floor. CRACK!!! Her head hit the floor first. There was no sound. Her body rolled over and Trisha was now face down on the floor. However, her lower body was still on the bed. Her back was arched in a painful position.

There was a puddle of blood on the floor next to Trisha's mouth. I went to check on Trisha, when she started to cough. She was still awake, but she looked defenseless. Liz then was standing over Trisha's shoulder blades, reached down to grab Trisha's legs, and began to pull back. A PAINFUL BOSTON CRAB!! Trisha was awake alright! She began to yell, scream, and plead. But to no avail. Liz released the hold, and laid Trisha face down on the floor. Liz then did something I thought I would never see. She removed her panties. She was naked. Trisha just lay there, face down on the floor, moaning and groaning. Liz grabbed Trisha and knelt her down with her back against the bed. She then got on the bed and yanked on Trisha's hair, so Trisha was facing the ceiling. Blood started to flow down Trisha's throat, and breathing became a problem.

"Ooh, what's wrong little Trisha? Having trouble breathing? Maybe this well help."

Liz then stuffed her white silk panties down Trisha's throat. If that wasn't bad enough, Liz then sat on Trisha's face, and stared into Trisha's eyes. Trisha kicked her legs wildly, but it didn't matter. Trisha's eyes were large and lifeless. All I could hear was muffled groans. In a last ditch effort, Trisha reached for Liz's breasts, and began to squeeze and claw. Liz didn't get off though. Trisha's last sound was a muffled cough, and her eyes slowly closed. Her hands left Liz's breasts and fell to her sides. Her legs stuck outright, and spread. I could see her red thongs riding up into her. Her whole body convulsed for about 15 seconds, then she was still. Liz got off and pulled Trisha up with her. She held Trisha in a bearhug position, before placing Trisha's head between her thighs. She held Trisha up by holding unto her pants. When she pulled up unto the pants, she revealed Trisha's red thongs.

"Your boyfriend won't be seeing those thongs anymore," Liz said with a grin.

Liz executed a perfect piledriver on the floor. CRACK!!! There was no reaction from Trisha. When Trisha's head hit the floor, her body tumbled to the ground. Trisha was left with her arms to her side, looking up at the lights, with Liz's panties stuffed down her throat. KO'ed!!

"As for your boyfriend," Liz said, "keep him. He's not worth the trouble."

Liz then left the apartment, with Trisha's lifeless, bloody body still on the ground.

Web Image: That would describe how I would love to express myself everyday. Just scream my heads out. 

>_< mmph!!

Shot by: unknown -- I don't know what I was doing but somebody out there loves candid shots, eh? Caught me doing the most unwanted pose. lol! Go figure?? Cheers! 

Shot by: unknown -- I was more like a scarecrow but the crows these days are no longer afraid of what used to be my only purpose -- to scare every Lynn, Mich, and Snowballs away. I miss snowy days like this one. I miss them, being kiddish and all. Life's too serious over here in Leeds. Cheers 

Shot by: Vincent See -- March 14, 2003 at The Bowl when days were warming up. It was the perfect day for snow fight and here I was, already giving up to multiples of enemies; refusing to retaliate. Well, I did... eventually. I thought they were kids but kids they are not when snowballs kept coming in. Like, "Incoming!!! Watch out!" 

Shot by: "unknown source" Well, it's the obvious newspaper. Go figure. It's funny. Worth your time for a read, and a re-read. ;) Cheers! 

Drugged

After visiting a doctor I was prescribed a drug in which I had take two pills and couldn't keep my head up after. I was feeling drowsy and just felt like going to bed. It was still early in the morning and I had to go downtown to get additional information regarding my bank account. Well, I had to go there to collect my bank card as well.

Speaking of which, I think it is ridiculous for banks over here to take an awful lot of time to open an account. They said it was for security reasons and as well as to prevent international students from starting up an overseas banking account that was believed to have potential terrorist banking activities?? I'm not too sure but it all sound too crappy for me. It only took a couple of days in Canada to have an account open and there wasn't much red tapes to it. It's hell over here.

After that, I went to the market to get some fruits. Damm! I'm down to my last £15 for the next week until my parents would wire some money over. I couldn't keep my head up any longer and I have class at 3pm, that's 4 hours ahead. Went back home just to catch a few winks and I slept through till 7pm.

Woah!! Am I in big trouble? No, I don't think so. Should I stop the medication? No, I don't think so. I need to be well so I can do my classes/courses well. I guess i'll have to go through this tough time of being ill for a short period before I am well again.

Reflecting my life in the halls where I live, most of the things here are not up to my expectations and looks like I have to put up with its under average standards (the UK standards). If I have the chance, I would rather go back and live in Canada.

So far, my life here suxx up to today. I can't believe that I've been sick since the day I arrived. The doctors and nurses already know me and they're like "Oh, you were here last week. You're the one with Paracetemol allergy, is that right?", to sound familiar with me. The rest of people here have problems here with the weather and thank God I'm not the only one. But it does look like I am the one who is victimized by the weather the most compared to the rest. It's not fair, I know, but again, there's nothing much I can do now, is there?

The people I get to meet up here is far more diversed than I would meet if I was in Canada (and Malaysia). That was just a thought. I gotta go. laterr...!

Shot by: me -- Sally ZYW, and Lo Charmei, with me at DQ on College Drive and Cumberland Avenue. This was about a week before I left Canada for good. These are one of the few good friends I had trouble leaving behind and getting on with life. It's such a heavy loss. Pictured here, we were chatting after lunch and later in the evening we agreed on a game of tennis, which we did play. It was a Tuesday as far as I can remember. 

Shot by: me -- Finally the photos from my last glamor shoots in Saskatoon are out. This is Alexandria from Moscow, Russia, visiting her boyfriend who is my classmate, Evgeuni Panasiouk, at the University of Saskatchewan. The background is a view of the mini fountain garden located in the Agriculture Building. Did a couple of post-production touch up to make her look a little more cheerful. *winks!* 

每一天下课后。。。

。。。再James Graham 大读书关外面门口等着客车回家。6：05 晚上车就来了。人人都在排队上车里。到我上了我把我手张开了让司机看我的月票后来就找个位子坐下。

不久就到咱们的宿舍里。
到家了房间还是那么乱，一切东西都是在地上乱七八糟的。我没有收好我的床可是一眼看到床就相爱睡了。哎~！累了！真的又饿了！ 觉得有一点儿懒。 懒地做饭。有没有好吃的呢？昨晚没有做菜所以现在想吃都没有。一边想饿死了，另外一边儿在想做作业看无聊法律的书， 又想躺在床上歇一会儿。

不行！

不可浪费时间。时间是金！

靠！我都要快疯了！啥都不想干！ 不管了，就躺下一会儿吧。想起了我在加拿大的日子。满好的！

饿死了。饿死了！该做饭。

天呀！我求求你送我一个帮忙人救救我这段时间吧！

虽然我自己觉得我是属於我行我素的生活但这么过去是可苦不了！压力还行。

觉得很寂寞孤单。也许我该找个女友吧。不知道婷婷来不来呢？像其她了不知道现在她还好不好。咱们的交通虽然有一点不顺因为我的汉语不是非常好而她的英语也是不怎么强； 真是由交通问题。挺搞笑地要你observe我们聊天的时。我挺喜欢她的人她的性格--完美的！

晚了。该睡了。明天中午上课。明天还是那么烂的天气。不亭着下雨。I can only use 3 words each to describe the English weather: 不得了！！ 受不了！！ 真麻烦！！ 天有病！！ 有毛病！！

哈哈哈！！ 迟点儿再谈吧。告辞！bye for now.

找到了我的回忆

在前几个小时我想起了一个故事我很喜欢看。 找到了半天才找得到。差一点忘了没有带过来。幸好那个CD贴补是在加拿大那一边儿。让你们看一看吧。

灵蛛讲：

我只是一普通的蜘蛛，一只环宇中既丑陋又卑微的生物，而我又是一只不平凡的蜘蛛，因为我把蛛网结在了西天雷音寺的廊檐下。每日里我听的是僧人们念经的阵阵木鱼与片片梵音；亨用的是普天下的善男信女的香火供奉。慢慢地，我也开始有了灵性，我也能悟出一些堪为艰深的法理。终于，有一天，佛感觉到了我的存在和我的长进。佛问我：“蛛儿，普天之下汝以何物为最贵？”

我慎答：“余窃以为天下万物皆不足为贵，贵者只两件一曰已失去，一曰得不到。”我为我的答案深感自豪。

佛却说：“蛛儿，你错了。” 我错了吗？真的错了吗？

佛要出去云游了，佛走之前交待我，让我好好的参悟，他回来仍是要问我的。

也不知是过了多久，好像是一千年罢，佛回来了。一见我，佛就问了我：“一千年了，你想的怎么样了？”我不语。我不知我上次的答案有何不妥。佛笑了笑便不再理我了，我想佛是恼我了。于是，我便仍在那里忙着吐丝织网，闲暇时学习佛理。

转眼又是一个千年.

有一天，观音大士从我身边经过，可能是行得急了些，一滴甘露从她手中的杨枝叶上落了下来，不偏不倚就停在了我的蛛网之上。甘露的宿命是化雨，去滋润人间万物，我的网只是它作片刻逗留的地方。它是那么的晶莹夺目，它的存在只是为了让我感到自卑。我不去与理会它的存在，因为它最终是会自动消失在我的生活中的。又是一个漫长的千年，它始终没有走，只是这么静静地陪伴着我，无声又无息。终于，有一天，一阵长风，从我身边刮过，把它带走了。它走了以后我开始明白原来它来之前我所拥有的除了寂寞以外别无其它，而它走了，留给我的只是无尽的孤独。生命中有很多东西也许终我一生我也无法拥有，然没有就没有，我也不会为此而感到有任何的遗憾，遗憾的
是有一些东西拥有过却终又失去。我越来越无法平复那一种被称作孤独的感觉。尽管我每天都让自己很忙，可是孤独就像是毒药，贯穿我的肢体百骸，让我倍受熬煎。终于惊动了佛。佛说：“蛛儿，这是你命中注定的劫数，去吧，红尘之中自有你另一翻气象。” 我沉沉的睡去，也不知过了多久，耳边响起噪杂的声音，有人在打我，我忍不住痛，张开了嘴，我有了我作为蜘蛛时所没有的声音和眼泪。耳边响起的是我的哭声洪亮而! 悦耳。就这样，我成了林太师的小千金－林珠儿。是的，是那份我无法与之抗衡的孤独将我推落于这万丈红尘，也许会找回一些我想要的东西，也许会万劫不复，谁又知道呢？

我想，佛是偏爱我的，否则他不会让我仍保有我作为蜘蛛的记忆。我要找我的甘露，那个默默守护了我一千年的甘露，我要他永远陪在我身边将我内心所有的孤独与寂寞杀个灰飞烟灭.

我的父亲是朝庭的太师，他与先皇是连襟，也就是说我的母亲与太后是嫡亲的姐妹。我的兄长与姐姐也都是富贵中人，我们家出了两个驸马，三个王妃。佛是顾念我的，他让我生在这么一个钟鸣鼎食之家，让我得到了这个家里所有人的爱。我长到了十六岁，我是那么迫切的想要找到甘露，我怕我会像上次那样，在不知不觉中错过。

命运终于还是将我与甘露拉在了一起。太后五十华诞，我获准与母亲一同出席皇家寿宴。这个宴会比我想像中的要大的多。因为是太后大寿，所以不仅是皇家的人，所有一品大员的家眷们也都来了。皇上还请了新科状元前来吟诗作赋。我想，我的出现让在场所有的人惊艳了，许多人的眼光都集中在了我的身上，这让我感到恐惧。是的，我想我是美丽的，可这份美丽是为了甘露才展现的。我的眼光在人群中寻找，我想找到甘露，家规甚严，我几乎足不出户，所以我要抓住机会。我的眼睛终被一双明眸所吸引。

是的，没错，就是他，我快不能呼吸了，当那个让我在雷音寺里不得安生的明亮又一次呈现在我的面前时，就是他，新科状元--甘露，连名子也没改。他在不停的忙，忙着为太后写诗，他的身边有好多女子，她们都是公卿王候之女，她们的眼中都流露对他的向往。我不吃醋，我乐意让我的爱人成为众人追逐的对像，我自信，只有我才是他这一世宿命安排的妻子。我是那么的优秀，我坐在那里只是静静注视着他，而他也发现了我，他的眼神告诉我，我的存在已深深震撼了他。我俩目光交会时他对我笑笑，接着便又埋头写诗。公公将他写的诗一首一首呈给皇上和太后，由两位品评后让宫女就着曲牌唱。我听到了一首：仙姬何事离瑶台，三步一徘徊。只因人间王母寿，天上人间舞蹁跹。

我知道，那一定是写给我的。我正沉浸在自已编织的美梦中幻想着，太后的内侍柴公公走到我身边带我去见太后。自我懂事起就没见过太后，她老人家对我似颇有好感，慈爱地轻抚我的手，一直在眯着眼笑。她还把她的小儿子湘王爷介绍给我，湘和我是同年同月同日生的，湘一直在偷看我，他是那么的羞涩而不善表达，尽管他贵为小王爷，受到宫内上上下下的宠爱。华宴是何时结束的，我已不记得了。我只知道我喝了很多的酒，有点醉了。我好高兴，因为我找到了他--甘露，他就是我这一世的快乐和生命，十六年的生命，直至见到他的那天才算有意义。

我毫不隐瞒地告诉父母我对甘露的感情。如我所愿他们并不反对，父母是爱我的，他们甚至见不得我受到哪怕是一点点的委屈，我想做的事，只要不致太荒谬，他们总是会同意的。

第二次遇见甘露是在京城郊外的白马寺，母亲是陪我一起去乞求我的好姻缘的。刚一入寺主持方丈便告知甘状元正陪太夫人在上香，隧引我们相见。母亲陪着甘太夫人闲聊，她们支开了我和他。我知道，母亲一定是想和甘太夫人说我与他的事。我的心底泛起了一阵阵的愉悦夹杂着几丝莫名的兴奋与羞涩。他陪着我在寺内放足，后面是一大群的仆僮。他就近在咫尺，而我几乎窒息。他是那么的彬彬有礼，言必称小姐，我有些恼他道：“叫我蛛儿罢！蜘蛛的蛛，我叫你甘露哥哥行吗？”他问：“这样不妥吧？”我尔莞一笑：“你以前不是一直这么叫我的吗？”他被我弄糊涂了。“你以前是在心里这么叫我的，那时我是雷音寺廊檐下结网的蜘蛛，而你是不慎滴落于蛛网上的观音大士杨枝叶上的甘露，是你陪了我整整一千年，后来你跟一阵风走了，我便开始了孤独，孤独让我坠入红尘，中断修行也让我再一次碰到了你。

我只是想让他找回作为甘露的记忆，这样我就可以听他亲口告诉我，那一千年的陪伴他又是怀着什么样的心情。他的表现让我失望。他在笑，那样子好像是一位兄长在听小妹妹梦里的呓语。我听到“碰”的一声，那是我心碎的声音，他是不是已经不记得我了？抑或是甘露根本是没有心的! ？我在心中向神明祈求。“你的想法太浪漫了，有这等才情，你的诗一定写得不错。”我开始绝望了，究竟是哪里出了错？我入红尘为的是找回我的甘露，而眼前人分明就是甘露，可是他却没有了甘露的记忆。他似有意捉弄我，取笑说：“你说你以前是一只蜘蛛，可你长得是那么美丽，一点儿也不像嘛？你比它好看，何止上万倍。”这本是名恭维的话，却让听这话的我感到痛。我开始认命了，我真傻，甘露的命运是去泽被苍生，我的网终不是他真正的归宿。我慢慢离开他，带着绝望的悲怆道：“它日吐情丝，夜织情网，终致深陷，难以自拔，尔等须眉却嫌它丑陋而取笑于它，想它不过只是痴情些罢了。”甘露啊甘露！你终究是无心的，我想。我终于走到了回廊的尽头。我抽了一支上上签，这是对我莫大的讽刺。方丈亲自为我解的签，还说我三月之内必有红鸾禧，还说这禧会应在第二年的春天。母亲还在高兴，而我已经意识到了，不会有什么禧了。

三个月后宫里来了人，一家老小摆起了香案跪听圣旨。冗长、雅致而又晦涩的措词无非只是表达一个内容：太后把我许给了她的小儿子湘王爷，明年春天大婚。那时我便是湘王妃了。这无异于是一声霹雳，如果说对甘露的失望是一把利刃，深深扎进了我的心里，太后的赐婚就好比是在我的伤口上洒了一把砒霜，我情何以堪？等待我的也许只有一个结果--伤重不治，毒发身亡。我神思恍惚，小婢搀着我，我浑身冷汗淋漓，摇摇欲坠。只听见依稀是父亲的声音他欲挽留公公用膳。公公笑着拒绝了：“太师，您太客气了。我这不还得去甘状元那里宣旨！对了，您老还不知道吧！洛王爷的小郡主长风小姐早就看上状元了，央太后做主。太后说了这事得问状元自个儿，没想到状元一见长风郡主就应了太后。这不，今儿就去宣旨下月完婚。”我再也受不了了，公公还没走远，我的整个人就倒了下来。我只依稀听见众人手忙脚乱的忙着，叫着，乱作一团。那情形就如同我出世时。我想我快要走了，要回雷音寺去了。甘露最终还是跟着长风走了，在这世上我已找不到继续活着的理由了。走吧！别再痴缠下去了，不属于我的终究不属于我了！我对自已说我开始做梦，梦里佛对说我：“傻蛛儿，你又何必对甘露耿耿! 于怀呢？甘露陪了你一千年，那是因为它要等长风，它只有与长风在一起才能遨游环宇，润泽苍生，他的存在才有意义。而于你他是无心的。”我求佛："我知道我错了，我不想在这里呆下去了，引我回去吧！我还是愿意做廊檐下的蜘蛛。" 佛想了想道："你若执意要回来，我也不勉强，只是你尘缘还未了。也罢，给你三日之期，三日之后我便来渡你。”

樵楼更鼓打了三下，我醒来了。令我惊诧的是，湘正在冲我笑。羞涩的笑容难掩满面的疲惫。他只轻声讲：“对不起，联姻之事应该及早告诉你的。”他的笑容让我心疼，我在心里默默的向他道歉，我不能成为他的王妃了。丫头们见我醒了忙说 “小姐，你可把湘王还有我们大家吓坏了。你可知道为了你湘王一个人不吃不喝守了你整整三天三天夜。小姐，快点好起来罢！”说着竟哭了起来。我心中竟又有些不舍了，离开这里所有的人，他们一定会伤心的。还有生我的父母，他们白发人送黑发人又将会是何等的伤心？然我已没有勇气再苟活在这人世了，我的生命是为了甘露，现在既然没有甘露那就连命也不要了罢。湘仿佛是看穿了我的心事道：“忘记甘露好吗？让我来代替他给予你这一世的幸福吧！知道吗？蛛儿！我可是等了你有三千年了。那次在母后的寿宴上我已经把你认出来了，你是那么的聪慧稳重，一如当年你在雷音廊檐下的绝世风范。我便是那默默等了你三千年的雷音菩提树下的一枚小草。我日日仰望你，想让你看到我的存在，而你是那么的高高在上，从来就没有发现那个渺小的我，可是我不放弃，总有一天你会知道有这么一个小小的我在默默地等你。可是在你的心里自始自终就只有甘! 露一个。好不容易甘露被长风带走了，而你却仍放不下，于是佛让你来一遭红尘俗世，我恳求佛让我与你同行，佛答应了。佛说我们是有缘的，所以我信了，好不容易甘露走出了你的生活好不容易我说服了母后让皇兄颁旨，可是你却还
是放不下甘露。……”他说不下去了。我开始感到震憾，三千年的等待，我不曾给过他半点承诺，他却也不曾有过一丝一毫的抱怨。 “蛛儿，请不要辜负我对你的一片心，留下来陪我一起朝朝暮暮不好么？> ”> 他握住了我的手，而我的心在抖，我原本是以为我的心已经死了的。

三天很快就到了，我本应顺了佛的指点义无反顾的将我的元神抽离我的肉体的。可是我的耳朵却分明听到一阵悲怆的哭声。“蛛儿，你还是不要和我在一起是吗？这没关系，只求你别走。我可以不娶你，只要你好好的活着，开开心心的，让我天天看见你就行了。别走好么？”不知为什么我犹豫了，好像是被什么所感动。他抱着我的身体哭得肝肠寸断。就是铁石人儿也会落泪。我的父母一边哭一边还在劝慰他，接着他似想到了什么似的，抽出了佩剑，嘴里喃喃自语:“好吧！蛛儿，你既执意要回雷音，我便追随于你，无论你魂魄去向何方，哪怕是上穷碧落，下到黄泉，还是天涯海角，湘，我一定奉陪。”说着便要举剑自刎。佛说:“蛛儿啊！湘可是等了你三千年，你是放不下他的吧！回去罢！趁现在你还走得不太远。你这个样子，我既是渡你回雷音，终究也是枉然的。” 我的元神又重新进入了我的身体，我只是轻轻动了唇：“湘，不要，我回来了。我心甘情愿做你的王妃，做你一生一世的王妃，来酬你三千年的等待，不好么？”只听“哐当”他手中的剑落地了。他紧紧抱住了我，我们相拥而泣，还有我的父母。是的我要是知道我的离去会让那么多爱我的人痛不欲生我是不会这般任性地想要走的。!

我终于明白了，我们曾经失去的和我们所得不到的东西都不足为贵，紧紧握在手心里的才是最珍贵的。我曾求甘露而不得，而今明白，甘露的珍贵是对长风郡主而言的。他曾陪了我一千年这就够了。现在我应该珍惜的是湘予我的爱！　　

按：
爱我的人和我爱的人，一个永恒的主题：当今的我们是如何选择的？

我以为人世间最疼苦的事应该是：他就在我身边而我却不知道他爱我，然又有多少爱是可以重来的呢？珍惜现在罢！珍惜每一份别人给予你的爱吧！要明白握在手里的东西才叫幸福。

Looks promising

We had nothing, absolutely nothing to do in our law course last week and I suppose most of us were happy that way. On the other hand I was overrun by boredome and wasn't too happy that I had nothing to do to keep me busy, until yesterday -- for our Contract class, we receive a reading assignment on 13 cases due next week.

Thirteen cases!! Doesn't seem a lot to you but it sure does to me and for the rest of my class. Thirteen, 13, cases!! Know them by heart by the following monday, Oct 11!

I have done 3 of them of which I fell asleep after reading the second. I think going through the entire year in law school is going to be an interesting one. Perhaps I should educated myself and perhaps you as well some law terminologies so as to familiarize with its usage.

Now, Offer and Invitation to treat has a distinct difference but both fall under the category of the former and has relations with acceptance. Am I being clear here? If you're confused, don't worry because I am too. Let me get this straight...

Man, give me any economic journals filled with econometrics and abstract mathematics I'd be able to read them and understand them in matter of hours. My preferences are inclined to that of logical understanding -- maths. Not that law cases are not logical, but they are! But they're all in words. There are not a arbitrary variable which can represent something and with it be equated to another significant value being divisible by a rational number. WTF! There's nothing I can play with in these cases that are hundreds of years old. Well, at least I don't know how to play with them yet like I can with mathematical variables.

This is the kind of stuff that I would rather be associated with. Stacked them up around my little study cubicle and not law journals. ;)

Hm... if only law can be more mathematical inclined... wouldn't that make our lives much more interesting and lawyers more of a rational number?

Another lame soliloquy produced at the James Graham Library.

International Student's Reflection

Each day on the LMU website they publish an "International Reflection". These are written by staff, students, visitors and friends of the University which help to reflect their commitment to making Leeds Met a truly international university.

Every reflection written is exactly 200 words, no more and no fewer, and on any subject in relation to an international experience either in the UK or elsewhere.

I have written mine but it is still pending to be published.

Here, i'll give you the 'hot from the oven' first read:


The diversity of cultures present here in Leeds is an essence that helped people assimilate to their new environment. I have not, however, discovered any cultural shocks until the first week of lectures. Is it rude or disrespectful to walk out of your class during lecture irregardless of the size of your classroom? I did that. A few classmates later questioned me about it. The answer is the obvious yes but I would like to give it some degrees of freedom and open up the question to everybody.

Having spent 4 years in Canada pursuing a bachelor’s degree and professors/lecturers (educators) don’t mind if any of his/her students have to leave during their lecture sessions. Maybe they recognize the sense of individualisms thereby warranting a certain right of passage in student’s behavior as long as the student do not cause others any inconveniences. I have been accustomed to this way of conduct.

Isn’t it a student’s responsibility to excel in his course and educators are there to support their efforts? The norm dictates a yes to this question. There may be many reasons as to why you had to leave. After all, don’t your final grades speak out the loudest?


Comments?

A letter to the Vice Chancellor of Leeds Metropolitan University (LMU)

In the past couple of hours I have been thinking about something to write to our Vice Chancellor (VC). It's not a complain letter neither it is a fairy tale. I believe my idea/suggestion I am offering represents a universal voice and that the VC has to take time to read.

Greetings Professor Lee,

I’m Danny Teok. We met and spoke on Thursday (Sept 30th) at Queenswood, Headingley Campus, during tea time. I had to write to you concerning an area of potential interests that the university can offer to its [international] students at the Beckett Park’s campus (hereinafter referred to as “The University”).

I have also spoken to a gentleman who, I believe, is the manager of the food services of The University and it is with much regret that I cannot recall his name. He was most generous and welcomed a few suggestions I had to offer to which he asserted that I must bring the matter to you.

Being an international student myself, I strongly believe that there is a need for The University to provide to students microwave ovens. In the presence of variety of food catering services readily available to all at a small cost, there are still, however, a number of large minority of students who would prefer to bring their own food in which they are accustomed to in the past many years to consume while waiting for their next lecture session. In such event, the said microwave oven would serve useful as to reheating of the food – a warm/hot meal to enjoy. It is unfortunate to realize that The University has not facilitated such convenient amenities among a number of ubiquitous vending machines throughout the campus.

While I do not have the statistical data to substantiate the above-mentioned sentence “…there are still, however, a number of large minority…”, it was in my opinion that I foresee there is such a universal need. Having provided such facility would have saved a great deal of money and time from traveling back to their respective residence just to have a hot meal. Students live on budget, therefore, saving as much as they can is undeniably one of their priorities.

I have strong confidence to believe that The University’s management is very generous and compassionate to respond to the numerous needs of students, particularly this one.

It has been great honor and pleasure to have personally met and spoken with you, the Vice Chancellor of Leeds Metropolitan University, and that students have the greatest opportunity to communicate and relate their problems with you. Perhaps I have known too many Vice Chancellors that are too occupied with the governance of their university to even take time to listen to the needs of their students. Again, it has been a great honor.

Thank you for listening and giving me this opportunity in which I treasure much.

Please forgive me if I have said anything by mistake or inaccurately as I am still learning in my new environment.


Regards,
Danny V-Li Teok
(LL.B [Hons] Law; 1st yr)

So, there you go. If you would proof-read the above I would be much grateful! I decided not to send the letter off yet until it's been proof-read to perfection or at least until it looks time-worth & professional.

One of the reason I wrote out my idea was also because of what I have been used to back in Saskatoon days. Yeah, I can take my food to school just like everybody else is doing and have a hot meal. I just cannot do it right here right now as there are no facility. Yes, there are but they're not for students. The microwave ovens are in staff's pantries to which students have no access. Where is justice? Staffs are allowed to enjoy hot meals while students are not? How about having a common area like a student's lounge filled with pop and vending machines with microwave oven and tables and chairs? Yeah, University of Saskatchewan is like that and if LMU is not doing the same thing then I have the right to believe that LMU doesn't care much about student's needs.

But wouldn't it be rude to address the issue in that manner as described in the last line of the previous paragraph? haha! Imagine our VC reading that.

I don't think UoS' VC has ever met any students. The only person in the board that have met and spoke to students is the President -- Peter McKinnon. Is he the VC? I still think he is not as welcoming as the VC of LMU. Prof. Simon Lee, VC of LMU, do stress to students (us) to write to him if we have any concerns. Not that his secretary will read and respond on his behalf but he honestly said he loves to know what are our needs and problems and that he will try his best to resolve situations for us. At the least, he has admitted one of his passion and extended a friendship-relationship with students. On the other hand, neither the President or the VC or the Chancellor of UoS has ever done that. But still, that's the impression I got if I am not already being bias.

行吗？

现在我觉得这个blogger有点儿矛盾。
讨厌！

我的名是张伟利。但你可以叫我丹呢(Danny)

An entertaining song you should all know.

Had a video conference with Claudia (CKY) and Sally (ZYW) just last night showing off to them their photos before they receive them. While doing that, there was a party going on in our kitchen, which is just beside my bedroom. I had to join the crowd just to NOT miss the fun.

I entertained some of them with Chinese caligraphies. Yeah, the brushes and the stone-dish where I grind the solidified ink on it to get its black ink out... they had no idea what I was doing and that felt like I was the guru of some thing. hehe!

The Spanish guys wanted to know how would I write the equivalent meaning of "Fuck you" in Chinese... with the brush. Isn't it "操你妈"? I did not write it but instead I wrote my name and just as I expected, all of them were astonished by the beauty of the Chinese characters.

Our Norwegian guy asked me why do asian people frequently ask us (them) for the meaning of their names and if that was a common thing in China. Like, Bjorn (with an accented 'o') means Beer, as in the beverage you'd drink a few litres and do funny things without realizing your durnk. I had to explain how my name means "Great Riches" or that my so-called translated English family name is "Longbow"... like,
"Hi! I'm Mr. Longbow of the Great Riches! How are you?"
These were just a bunch of BS and still, they're equally impressed. Well, the meaning of names goes way back to thousands of years ago till today. But I said it's common for fellow Chinese to ask for the meaning of names among each other because they want to know how to write your name and thus pronounce it the correct way. The Chinese language has four distinct pronounciations and with each correct pronounciation the listener can therefore identify the possibility of the character of the other person's name. Like my name -- 张伟利 -- I often have to say 伟大的伟 and 利润的利 or 利益的利 so my Chinese fellow will know exactly which character is my names. It rules out 为，位，韦，and 喂.

Shot by: shutterblog (me) -- Shot using Canon 300D while stuck in a traffic. This picture was from last month. I did touch up a little on photoshop to find out how I'd look like when a fully grown goatee and mustache. How about them?? ;) 

A taste of in-class culture shock

"In-class culture shock"??
Is there such a thing in the first place?

Frankly speaking I am not even sure of it in the first place but after what I've been through I am rather inclined to believe the existence of such phenomena.

Remember how I said there was never a day I'd fall asleep during lectures back in Canada? Good. If you have forgotten, I have mentioned that by the way. Over there is more like professionalism pride whereby students have the right to do whatever they want as long as they are not causing and/or introducing difficulities to other students -- that includes standing up and leaving the classroom impromptu for whatever reasons you may have.

Professors over there did not really mind you doing that... as long as you pass his/her class or as long as you don't cause troubles to either him/her or to the rest of the class. It is understood that way as far as I can recall my days over there. If you fall back in lectures and in your progress (in that subject) then there's no one to blame but yourself. That's what I mean by professionalism pride.

You may have a class of 20-30 people and it is in my opinion that when one or two students stands up and leave the classroom is inevitably insignificant. And this is something I have been doing and nobody ever comes to me and ask me why I did so as though I have breached a rule or two.

So, that was exactly what I did. I couldn't go on for another minute without falling asleep in my "Law of the Consititution" class. Believe me, the lecturer (they call instructors over here as lecturers, not professors and I have no idea. maybe they lack of professionalisms?) was deadly boring in his voice, method of teaching, communication with students, and in his behavior(s).

I was sitting right in front of the class and directly to where he was sitting. It wouldn't take much effort for him to notice somebody is sleeping in his class if I did fall asleep. It would be equally rude to be doing just that -- falling asleep as the result of the boredom he catalysed -- and to walk away and leave. Which alternative was better I kept questioning myself before I made the move.

I made the move to stand up and walk away. Nothing was said. There was no need for consent. I'm not going to "Uhh, can I leave now? It's getting too boring for me and I'm tired."

An hour passed and I met up with my classmates. 3 of them, one at the time, asked me the following:
"Why did you leave the class so suddenly? You mean, you already knew what the stuffs he was going to say in class?", the curious English blonde girl trying to strike a conversation with me.

"Were you feeling alright? Why did you leave the lecture?"

"Why? You left early..."

They were all asking why. The obvious is I have done something wrong. There are no exceptions. The best part was when I had to go back to see him, the lecturer, for a couple of handouts; filled with guilt after having people asking me why I did such a thing. I had to answer him the same way I have to the other 3 people, except with a little dishonesty to avoid my name from being black-listed. I had to say I was tired.

If I was trying to make a statement in that class it would have been "You're too boring!" Take it and swallow in however bitter it may be because it's gonna be good for you. However bitter a medicine can be they ought to heal you.

So, it looks like it's not a norm to do that here otherwise nobody would question me about it. Would I do it again? It only depends on how boring it gets the next time. I would try my very best NOT to fall asleep but I can't fight it if my body has to give its way. The only way I can fight it is by walking... stand up and leave.