Never seek to tell thy love
Love that never told could be;
For the gentle wind does move
Silently, invisibly.

I told my love, I told my love,
I told her all my heart,
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears –
Ah, she doth depart.

Soon as she was gone from me
A traveller came by
Silently, invisibly –
O, was no deny.

William Blake

HF and her best friend, Liyat (Ethopia) posing for me. 

At a bargain store trying out a nice woolen-knitted coat. Not bad looking to be honest but she didn't get it. 

Happy Birthday HF!!

It was HF's birthday yesterday and we put up a party for her at my flat. Everyone showed up, the crowd was good, everything was okay... except one thing in which I screwed up--I forgot about the cake! Perhaps she couldn't be mad at me entirely for forgetting the cake because I gave her her best birthday gift -- spent whole day cooking all the delicious food for everybody. Although it's trivial matter, it is really kind of ackward to celebrate a person's birthday without a cake. But I guess all of us has managed to get that by with lots of jokes, laughs, and picture takings.

We all had a spendid evening.


It's me! It's me, me, me, me! *sigh!* Actually, it's all about her. Nah, I'm just kidding around with the camera Alfred lent me.

 

Ah! I found this cute and tiny plastic apron and I knew I had to put it on. HF went wildly excited and jumped and screamed joyfully and ran to me impatiently for a photo. Lovely! 

Friends were somehow very excited to take pictures for both of us and I wonder why, even to this minute. I, uhmm, didn't think I can comment much on this picture but maybe that's because it's a lovely picture... and ordinary? Cheers! 

Shot by Toristen. Taking pictures can be, at times, very interesting provided that you are spontaneously different in all your pictures as oppose to the same smile and expression, which I think is the most proper and mannered way of photo-ethiques. I didn't think I'd abide in such photo-etiques all the time.

Anyway, just few days ago I was watching this documentary on snakes living in the deserts. After injecting venomous poisons into its prey, the snake would devour up its almost dead prey by dropping its jaws... that big (look at me). 

The dinner settings. Food was all prepared and made by me. There were a total of 8 guests including me and the celebrating girl. This is my flat's kitchen.

We all had blasting time this evening besides playing dumbass games and food fights after, and got a little drunk too. I was quite sober most of the time.

In this picture, you see HF, Ling (S'pore) and her Norwegian boyfriend, Toristen. 

There's Paul (India), HF, and Aslak (Norway) for a picture after dinner 

This is the night were I was pimping Leena for Paul. It was an absolutely hilarious night for not only both of them, but us too. They just got to know each other tonight and look!! The next day when he saw me he was all smiling and thanking me. 

I went up to them and stole this shot before his hand swang by to push either me or the camera away. Haha! Nevertheless, he was too late. Oh, the girly furry jacket he's wearing is not his (duhh!). He pulled a trick on her to get her help him wear it. Sneaky! 

After braiding(??) her hair. Looks very cute, I think. To memories... 

Had nothing to do yesterday and I was dominated by boredom and I had to shave. Don't worry, I did NOT shave my brows away. That'd be silly and umh, interesting too I guess! 

Shot 2 days ago (using Sony Erisson K700i) when I was, uhh, embraiding her hair?? You know, part the hair into three parts and start twirling them...

At wheel is my new pair of Reebok shoes, which I got for a real bargain of 35 quids. Not too bad. Originally selling for 72 quids. 

Some time last week, HF decided to do something crazy for me -- by painting my nails with her nail polishes? 5 assorted colors on each of my fingers. I cannot help feeling girly about this so I didn't allow her to paint my right hand after that. My heart sank when she told me she doesn't have the 'remover' for them, but she was only kidding.

Ummh, I didn't think I look my best here. It's just the very natural me under bad lightings. hehe! 

Last Sunday's shopping with HF. Looking at a tall mirror whilst wielding my 6600 phone HF took this shot that eventually became one of my fav shots. 

Hairs wedged between the blades of a scissor and the buzz of a clipper. Here, the hair-dresser tries hard to cut through the bushes of my hair and then style it. The result? See above and below. 

In the past few days...

... life was a little different. Classes commenced, new people therefore, new friends; went out shopping for the entire day of Sunday with HF and later walked to the Millenium Square where we first kissed at midnight of 2005 Jan 1st. It was snowing that night when we were there around the ice skating ring. Indeed, that night was really romantic and we had really good time.

Slept over in her place and went for my classes the next day. This semester/term I'm going to have the "European Union Law 1", "Property & Trusts 1", "Contract 2" and "Tort 2". I think I will really enjoy these classes.

咱们俩还是很好的朋友。我们是否在一块儿还不是非常清楚。
我到底为何和她在一起呢？有两个原因。 一，虽然我是喜欢这一个人但是我同时想帮助她的思想，心里，本人，还有她的一切。对，我不是超级人可是我能帮都多少就去帮到那么多吧。能做的就做。夜路难行，我也许当自己是她的蜡炬？ 二，她是一个非常很有趣的人（又漂亮）。 别人说我 当你在恋爱中你的IQ是零！ 可是，我不觉得呀！

爱

爱 到底是什么？我对HF说我已经不在乎我原来的女友了 不在想她 也不在爱她了，她尚且不信，若说我现在喜欢的或爱的人是你--黄斐--如何能信过我呢？昨晚上他就忽然间问了我一个问题关于我原来的恋爱是怎么发生，甚至差一点儿 分手。 我实实在在地回答她所有的问题 不说谎 就当我告诉她我的一切的事情象一个故事一样。 她很羡慕我的故事然后把这个事情闹 吵架。

我觉得斐斐已经看上我了要不然根本不会那么介意我的故事。不知是不是好事呢？ 这一次其实不是我们的第一次吵这件事 已经好几次了。 也许 将来 还会碰到这一个麻烦。我望去天上求救命。

很想告诉她爱的意思：
爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；
爱是不嫉妒；
爱是不自夸，
不张狂，
不做害羞的是，
不求自己的益处，
不轻易发怒，
不计算人的恶，
不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；
凡是包容，凡是相信，凡是盼望，凡是忍耐。

爱是永不止息；
先知讲道之能终必归于无有；
说方言只能终必停止；
知识也终必归于无忧。

我做孩子的时候，话语象孩子，心思象孩子，意念象孩子； 既 成了人，就把孩子的事丢弃了。

-哥林多前书 第十三张-

你对我说：我们将来是不可能的
我想告诉你：事在人为。我不信你的话。

The Necessity of a White Lie

Whether or not you are in a relationship, I am certain that most of us have, at least at one point in our lives, have told a 'White Lie' to dodge an unnecessary commotion or to quash a futile quarrel probably over some non-sensible issues. In my opinion, that is probably the most essential use of a white lie. But too many of these lies will, in a way or another, sooner or later be tantamount to that of the general lies, and I have reasons to believe the consequences that follow, if such lies are told to your partner in your relationship, are not going to be a pretty sight.

I don't get quite 'get' it. Could it be that when one dodge too many possible quarrels, one is dodging too many problems. And consequently, problems pile up because they were not dealt with and soon you're swimming in your pile of shits? What solution is for the better?

I am an honest person but stuck with no possible paths to take because I know both of those paths spell death. There is a third possible way but I guess...

brb. <-- got drunk when Alfred came by. we drank together and chatted through the night

...3rd possible way but I guess there's a hurdle deliberately placed so that I can't advance forward unless the person who put it there is willing to remove it.



~!damm!~ I sux at getting back at my story later because i have forgotten what I wanted to say. That is, unfortunately, all and have to end here.

Relieved

Now I have found my passport lying somewhere in between law books on my shelf, I sighed a breath of relief and consoled myself. It is safe now.

Don't understand why everybody is searching for "Meettomorrow" in search engines that has led them to my blog -- July 2004. Could it be something of Linux Hull Lug? I received 35-44 hits within 12 hours from people all over particularly USA and the UK. What's going on?

Where is my passport?!

"Where is my passport?! Damm! Where is my passport?!"

Tame the dame (decent)

Made her dinner and she was overwhelmed. She couldn't keep smiling and couldn't tame her excitement because I was constantly harrassed by her after tasted/tried the food. I'm kidding, but it's true. *LoL!* To calm her down I agreed to this picture, in which I purportedly look somewhere but the camera giving the impression as though I was 'grabbed' somewhere somehow.
Oh yeah, I had my hair cut earlier that afternoon. We joked a little on my hair and she commented "...I'd really need more time to get used to your new hair style...". One of my brows raised and I thought "Is it really that bad?" and said to her "Ah, you really know how to compliment a person". I think that's sarcastically lame but it's good because we started dinner right away. *sniggers* 

Vanity fair

Vanity shot out of boredom with her camera phone. That's HF, whom I'm now seeing. Behind her (blurred) is a Chinese calligraphy character of 乐 in traditional Chinese form, in which she wrote for herself reminding her to live life happily. I think she's doing a great job of reminding herself of that. 

Shot on a cheerful Monday afternoon. The weather was very welcoming as well. I kinda like this picture best. 

Self Reflection

WARNING: Deep thoughts. Reader’s discretion advised!

Who Am I, really.
That is a very ambitious question.
Really, who am I?

I don’t suppose everyone else knows me enough to have that confident to attempt the very ambitious question above. I don’t suppose further my parents knows me more than I do know myself but I do not disregard their attempts and efforts not only to answer that question for me, but has also, in a way or another, redefine the question to “Is this who you really are?”, “Should you be… a little more of…?” They are nice people. All parents are nice people.

Somehow I do believe what I am today is partly influenced by people whom I met, interacted, known, mingled with, and not forgetting those whom I’ve grown up with. Perhaps it is necessarily sufficient to say “This is what I am today”. As for the other half part, could it be innately inherited at birth and has carried through up to today and till I breathe my last? This latter part, I think, is not as important as the former in terms of “Who and what I will become”.

At times, I want to be funny. When I think about that, I realize I am funny but only to a certain group of people who perhaps almost share similar personalities, thoughts, beliefs, and outlook in life. It would take much more efforts to be “the funny guy” that entertains the public; that is too much to ask of myself and, of course, I couldn’t do it because the former part of what I believe in do not consist of funny people. It would be ideally best if I am, though. Reflecting back, for the most part of my life I have been with serious and determined people, not limited to both my old folks only but friends as well. Perhaps I have chosen them and that, they are my choice. But, I would like to ask myself, “Why have I chosen these types of people for myself?” I believe one of my feet has set on a “Determination & Responsible” foundation, which is firm and stable, uncompromising, and solid and the other foot is still looking for a foundation to set on. Maybe I am really afraid to lose focus in life’s important things when I have to select on another foundation to set on for the other foot. I’m too serious, too afraid that I’d set on the wrong foundation. As I question myself where should I set this other foot on, I am actually still on a quest to find out “Who I really am”

“Be yourself!”
If I’m not being myself at this moment, I wouldn’t have written this thought-provoking reflection on myself, now would I? Should both feet be on a foundation and not stagger on one leaving the other undecided? I really do want to set the other foot down and proudly brag to myself “This is me! This is who I really am”. Some time ago, I did just that thinking I have built a monument of myself placed in city centre and everybody knows my history and who I really am. I did a biggest mistake in my life with most regrets. That stone I set on were of thorns and traps that scarred even my very heart. Bad stone! Still staggering on one feet, should I keep this way forever? Most of the time I’d find myself stepping on the stones of others temporarily as one would use one’s feet to dip into the water to check if the temperature is right before one submerge into it comfortably. Pirates and robbers are in the waters carrying on their daily plunders and vandalizing whatever obstacles in their paths. I must find a good stone to set on before I go down; before I lose my identity; before I lose myself. I know I am on my own as nobody can instruct me where I must set the other foot on. Then again, the old adage that goes “Once beaten, twice shy” keeps beaconing in my mind so that I’d be more careful. I really think I have only, so far, one foot down.
“I want to be somebody else whom people admire. I want to be…”
There’s nobody I can be right now but myself mentioned above. This is how I’d console myself when my mind starts getting envious of people and things that I do not already have. Is life, then, fair in this way? But I know people who have really struggled and tried to be somebody else…however, I am unsure of them whether or not they got disappointed and suffered chronic depression that entails the “wanna-be” disorder.

Should there one day be no one who can appreciate who I really am, even with a foot not set on a stone yet, then either I should hasten to set the other foot on something somewhere or wish to be lift off of any stones and disappear. Am I worried about how soon I should place my other foot on? Frankly speaking, no, because I am happy the way I am right now and there are still years ahead of me to decide where and on what kind of stones I set my other feet on.

On to another issue about being a spoilt kid that I think I am not but do have a tendency to be one. There is, I believe, [a] precondition[s] to be a spoilt kid. Maybe I can say that I am thankful that both my old folks have not spoilt me in many ways society deemed unacceptable especially when I compare myself to Michelle ZJ, BW, WSZ, TT, and the lot. But how could I compare them, who are my counterpart females at large, with myself? ZJ, who is an extremely sensitive person, labeled me “重色轻友” because of a misunderstanding over last Christmas. Looks like there’s not much I can do about our friendship. She has to deal this problem and unfortunately, she has dealt with it the most childish way I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I don’t care simply because I don’t owe her any apologies as I am not to be blamed, but that’s just her. I really don’t understand, sometimes, why girls allow emotions to take control over their minds. Things will all go wrong doing that. And sadly, (again, hate generalization but have to say this), when girls let their mind take control of their emotions, things go wrong too. Arrgh!!

By the way, “重色轻友” (zhong4 se4 qing1 you3) literal translation would be "biasness/heaviness on colors/lusts, light-hearted on friendship"
Explanation: One who places importance on [beauty] lustrous desires particularly in the wo/man s/he finds favor in, and when that is true, s/he inadvertently abandons his/her friends and doesn't think much of them.

大家都知道我原来喜欢的人就是黄斐。那么，ZJ 怎么可能责备我重色轻友？ 她误会了我；误会了我所有的意图所以有今天的结果。看起来，我已经不是她的朋友了。这一个友谊不知道是否还可救回来。我不觉得有希望。我也不会在乎这一个那么铭感而想不开的人。我很想对她说：改变别人，不如先改变自己 吧。

Racist English Kids

Was on my way to campus earlier when there was a bunch of English kids between 10 and 14 years old chatting and loitering on the street. As I advanced closer to them wielding a flash light in my hand (I had to walk past them) their laughters and giggles on how stupid life is gradually stopped. One of them blurted in Mandarin "Ni hao" (你好！) as my appearance of that of the Oriental became obvious to them under the street lamp. I ignored. Another "Ni hao...!" spilled out from one of them and I presumed it was the same kid as I could recognize the voice. I responded out of courtesy, "Hey, how's it going y'all?" to which there was no reply.

Just as I walked past them, another voice intruded my ears, "Hey Chink, why are you carrying that stupid looking torch light for? Are you blind?"

I ignored.

"Are you out looking for a Chinky girlfriend for a good time?"

I couldn't accept what I heard but at the same time I couldn't just pretend that I didn't hear anything, in particular, that I was called a Chink -- the worst derogatory racist remark for the Asian people especially Chinese.

I turned my head to them and, "FUCK YOU and to hell with you! Go get a life!", I suddenly shouted while showing them the 'V' sign with the back of my hand facing them--typical English way of saying 'you're a cunt!'

I just continued walking. Looking back, I didn't think I deserve any of those and certainly, I didn't think they deserved my respond to their racist remark. Now that I think about it, I shake my head troubled thinking of what has the English parents taught/did to their kids today? Have they instilled such bitter racisms to even kids? Is it their parents? Or it could be the media... like I've seen poster adverts like the ones for soccer in particular saying stuff like "Show racism to the red card" is somehow inadvertently cultivating the qualities of racisms not limited to the red card per se. Further, the word "Racism" is posted and seen everyday and worse, everywhere. To "Show Racism..." is a negative message but to say "Stop racism..." is sufficiently a positive message to the public.

Those kids may think they were kidding. I would like to think they were too. Knowing that I look like an Oriental and knowing that the derogatory term 'chink' is used against such person, race, and kind, is already sufficient to realize their negative intentions--that is to hurt 'all people that look like me' with that remark.

Proud country with proud people who could only look down on other people of other races of other colors? If it is, and if there's nothing done to curtail the problem, then I think England's future will stink like a pile of muddled shits with other contaminants in an abandoned sewerage especially when these kids will be England's future 'leaders'

This is the day I shall never forget.
还有其他的事情关于斐斐我不敢说。Anyway, 咱们在一起的时候满开心的。
Lovebites 怎么去翻译去中文呢? 嘻嘻！我给了她一个两个，我都有一个！很有趣！