Commitmentophobia?

I am turning 25 this September.
Am I ready for a new relationship?
Should I still be on the look out even though I already have one by my side?
But that couldn't be cheating, no? Maybe it is because my heart is not devoted entirely to my current girl. Am I afraid to commit? I don't think I am afraid to commit myself into a relationship as long as we are both attracted to each other.

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with commitment in a relationship but if this is so, then why are there some people out there are afraid to commit? They are not ready to 'settle down' I'd suppose and that being said, perhaps they are still looking for more fun before tying a deadend knot (assuming divorce is not an option)? I call it diversification.

Diversification is healthy in a relationship, I mean, if you are in a relationship and you'd like to know if he/she is really the one for you, then you should diversify! I know it sounds crazy but it's not like I am "for" Temptation Island's idea but, somehow I do believe that every relationships should be tested for its threshold tension; that is to say how far or how strong the relationship is before the ropes that ties the couples together in love snaps. Not the kind of test where you take her (and not only her) for a "test drive" where she'll "ride" on you happy.

While I am not suggesting that is the right thing to do, when you do "test" out your relationship at the of the day you'll reap out the benefits by multiple folds.

gone for beer. brb.

Back.
My previous romantic relationship was more of a lesson to me given the condition of "now that I know". I did test out our relationship in many ways that now I thought were all misleading and headed to no where. To make matters worse, I had placed a lot of high expectations on her to which she did not respond sufficiently and appropriately leaving me feeling flustered and frustrated most of the time. There was no "Temptation Island" on TV then ;) hehe! I love her too much. But things just didn't go the way I wanted. Am I being selfish? Both of us were selfish in our own ways so I guess we're even, but on the wrong grounds. To be even on a balancing scale (杠杆 [gang2gan3]) our relationship would have a higher probability of survival. However, it seemed like there were more than one balancing scales and instead of being in equilibrium for all the scales, they are unequally weighted on either sides.

That was what Ben and I discussed --the BGR (Boy-girl Relationship) problem-- when we went out to catch some breezes on our blades along the Mewasin Trail (River side). We sat on the last bench closest to Circle Drive bridge for a good 20 minutes and chatted. His girl is afraid to commit but simply because I think she's still immature towards BGR. Scott made a huge mistake on giving up on Chelsea but he realized soon enough to mend back his relationship and right now, what can I say? Lucky chap!

What's going to happen this weekend? I thought of going back up to Waskasiu Lake for a weekend camping getaway. But I want to see Theresa Sokyrka the cutie at Lydia's too. The opportunity cost of forgoing a last camping trip to the wilds and be in and around natural habitat "is" I think, greater in some number than going to see Theresa serenading my heart soft on Sunday when I know she plays at the Lydia's most Sundays. If I can have both, then it is suffice for me to say that I am even better off thus happier?! Yeah! So, camping that is!

Oh yeah, I watched King Arthur with my brother earlier... Not that good even though I did enjoy the medieval settings or backdrops in the film?